A bit of Word to the World of my World.

I seriously need to update this blog...

2011-10-23T21:21:00.000+01:00

But here a few things pre-wedding and post wedding! Go to the links below...

Pre-wedding!
http://vimeo.com/28528669

Post-Wedding!
http://www.pictage.com/1134638

Pictures will only be up for a while so check them out.

I dont change...

2011-08-25T21:54:00.002+01:00

It seems every time I promise something I always fail to do it. I hate it. Because I always end up with regrets and put it aside until is to late to fix it or it takes longer to bring it back to the way it was. I am always overwhelm with so many other things that I forget about the most important things I should do. The past few months have been crazy in my life some super awesome, some super sad. As you know my grandparents past away and that has been really hard. Planning things for the wedding its been overwhelming and starting a new job will even be more crazy on top of everything. But God knows why he does things and all I can do is keep going. So things that had happen in a nutshell:

* I applied for citizenship a few months ago... Now I am a Citizen, now I am an American born in Guatemala :) Part of the Oath Ceremony is hard, because you renounce to the loyalty you have for country. Is like you are leaving behind part of who you are. Its then when I realize the love I truly have for my country of birth. But I am so happy that I can finally say I am an American. A proud American. I will serve my country with love and dedication. As much as love Guatemala, The United States is my home now and I love it for that too. Although I would not mind living somewhere in Europe. The fact that my future husband is part German fills a bit of that European void. Oh well I love everything that's is different. All cultures and Countries and their past. Love it.

My parent made me take a picture after :)

* Wedding plans are coming along just fine :) I am super overwhelm. I guess I cant stop typing that word because I am super tired of looking at things for the wedding. Planning a destination wedding is not as easy as I though. But the experience is going to be awesome. I can wait to share that day with my family. Flight, Hotel, dress, shoes, wedding site, restaurant, matron and made of honor dresses, couples video, invitations DONE DONE DONE. Now I only need to order flowers, tux, lanterns, extras and more extras. I can wait for all of it to be over and done with. So when I come back I can start planning the party! LOL more stress! But in reality all I want is to be married to the love of my life and my hero! Bridal shower with family in law and friends is this weekend and I don't know what to expect! Never been in that position. Bridal shower??? Never especially not in the states. (Sorry, I have been to one!) also whats the difference with bachelorette parties? I should google it! :)

I love my shoes, they are so cute. Sorry! Cant share my dress. :)

* My mom went to Guatemala and brought me a bunch of goodies. CANT wait for her to send me my things! :) She got me a poem I did to my grandma when I was a kid and we uses to go to a little town call Xenacoj. We always used to make poems on our way there and one day she said I should make one with all of them combined into one! I loved that time of my life. I was Oh so Happy! We would stay in this town where she had a little shop and we would make ice cream (well... what we consider Ice Cream, it really is like a Popsicle but in a bad! LOL) and sell and just enjoy the simple life. We would go to the farmers market and buy fresh produce and candies. Tortillas with beans inside. Um they are so good! :) then on our way back she would buy me ice cream for been a good companion. I love my grandmother! She was my best friend we would always be together and had tons of fun. I loved her sense of humor and all the little crazy things she did. I miss her. I know I was not the best at calling her an being in touch. I guess I was always in denial things would happen like that. I knew she knew me and that no matter what she loved me because of all we had. She knows that I love her more than words and actions can explain. I always lack to do whats best when it come to be in touch with the ones I love.

Ok that's pretty much it. Or at least what I can remember. Will post later for updates or highlights~!

Two goodbyes by heart... Dos despedidas de corazon.

2011-07-10T19:18:00.006+01:00

Today I blog from the heart, not that I never do. Just today is how I let my feelings go out to the world. I haven't blogged about him nor I have blogged about her. They deserve their own post but today I will blog my feelings about both. Because together they left this earth. Leaving people that love them behind. Its weird to think that something like this would ever happen. Granted he left two weeks before, but she new he was coming for her.

So, let me tell you about this wonderful guy, the one I had the opportunity to know my whole life till this point. This man was not my grandfather by blood, but he was my grandfather non the less. I was just that lucky to actually have two whom I loved with all my heart. They both loved me too and they both tough me different things. Its weird to think that all of them are gone now and in some way we show them to the world just by being us. Once I wrote that I called my step-grandfather Don Carlis because that's how I learned. But he truly was my grandfather by heart. He left unexpectedly, no one really though he would ever leave before her and so no one worried about Don Carlis. Him leaving makes me so sad. I learn so much and admire everything he did. Is because of him that today I love perfection, I love education, I love to be neat and tidy in the things I do. I try to keep everything on file. I love to read. I have always strive to be really good when I talk and write. I love history. I love walks. I have a passion for books, but most of all I knew he loved my grandmother. I have learn and love all this because of him and his examples. Glad to say he lives thru me and will always be remember. RIP Abuelito XXXX (Jun25.2011)

Now let me tell you about my HERO my POET of beauty and the one I still cant let go...They tell you she is sick and you still chose to believe is all a lie. That she is just fine. That nothing will ever happen to her. That she will always be there when you call, when you fly to see her. Today she has left me in shock that in time it happens.

I have always said that she was the reason I am who I am. I became her more that I became my own mother. I wanted to be her. This love for writing, the love for sweets and fruit and food. The love for nature, the colors, the freshness of life, the passion for traveling. The love for fashion, love for cooking and baking. Speaking my mind. The quite love, the quite suffering, mourning in silence. All of it is hers. Every time I went back to Guatemala my focus was her. She deserved it. Every time I was there I would grab a chair and sit next to her. By her side I was me in the raw, I was always learning I was always laughing, I was always trying to make sure she new I loved her. I wish life wasn't this hard. I wish life was easier to live. I wish traveling would be in a blink of an eye. I wish we didn't have responsibilities. I wish I had more money I wish I was there and I wish more that anything she wasn't dead. I wish she would still be healthy I wish she could still be flying I wish she would be here. I wish she was still here to meet my future husband,to meet my future babies, to meet Dante, to learn more things, to still laugh at her jokes and for her to have a nickname for mike so I could laugh with her and enjoys the sweet slow moments in life like when I was with her. Instead today is reality. Today I have to understand. Instead today my LOVE has passes away to meet again with the ones she loved and left before her. Today I shed tears because she has left and I CANT be with my mother who is suffering or my father who consider her his other mother. I cant be with my uncle who has lost both of his parents in matter of days and has been with them his entire life (a new chapter in his life). I can be with my aunt who has been there with not much support. I can be with the family and no one will be. We are all separated by miles and miles of land. Today we can only be join by heart. Because life in a way stops us from being together. RIP Abuelita linda XXXXX I will always LOVE you. (Jul 10.2011)

I wish my heart would take more of this. I wish I could write longer so you could really understand why is it that I love her so much. But for today is enough. Nothing will be the same. Guatemala wont be the same. (She was my ONLY reason) The house will never be the same.

Till we meet again.

Later I will do the translation in Spanish and write a few of my fondest memories

Engagement Pictures!

2011-07-02T18:48:00.002+01:00

"Picnik Show"

Create a free slideshow with Picnik!

Changes... BIG ONES.

2011-06-07T18:24:00.001+01:00

Well hello my fellow bloggers. I know I have been absent and really for no reason at all. Except I am either too lazy or doing whatever. But yea I been wanting to blog for a while. :) Things are definitely NOT the same and for that I am OH so so grateful. During all this time I have gone thru what I believed was the worst thing that could ever happen to someone that believes in love as much as I do, something I though I could never come back from, standing for what is right, understanding, letting go, finding me, falling into what has been the greatest thing I could possibly come across, have the satisfaction of being completely me with no reservations, just me and FINALLY be in what I have always though I would NEVER experience. Falling into something call AGAPE.
People that know me, know this...
I am someone that loves, TRULY loves. (Not that no ones does, because they do) But... I am one of the very few that fight for that Love till the end.Honestly I never though I would be part EVER of the many people that have LoveMagic in their lives. I though that I was going to grow old and alone. In my house with flower patterns everywhere, plastic on ALL my furniture, with cats (cause their lazy) and a garden full of flowers. Very ODD :) but I truly though that THAT was my destiny. I never truly had faith in what God had for me. I though I had met that someone that he had chosen for me and because of a mistake he was taken away. So life as I knew it had no purpose at all. I was devastated because I truly though I had done something really horrible not to deserve that promise that was given to me.
Instead HE (i.e. GOD, just in case) proved me wrong. He showed me that his promises come around on his time and not mine. Yes. It takes time (HECK it does...) for some might come earlier and we envy them, we bring ourselves down. We believe we will never find it. We get hurt while others rejoice and it makes it a MILLION times worse. We think it will NEVER come to us and it is not till we are here where I am now :) That you think "And I though he (i.e. LOVE) was never going to come". You don't wanna hear how to be patient because if you are like me patience is NOT and option. You don't wanna hear that HE WILL COME when you are single and with what you tend to believe NO to be LIFE. True he makes things so much better he enhances them X.100.000.000.000.000 and so on. But the point is you do have a life so live it. And if HE promised you someone, that someone its on his way to meet and fall for you in Gods time. Take it from me. Who though it was NEVER going to happen. So if it takes longer, don't worry, enjoy right now cause he is coming.
Now I am engaged to be Married of course and life has taken a huge change, to start a new chapter in a few months and become someone envied by someone who will eventually have what I finally found and be envied too. Makes sense? LOL I think so.
Its been a while since I updated this blog and its music, so... frankly is about freaking time I do. All the music although I like it, is depressing. It was what I was feeling at the moment, but now, all those feelings are of love and NOT for someone that was never to be in my life in the first place. Thank goodness. God has his strange ways of working. Fun and painful and long roller coasters.

I lie.

2011-04-01T22:49:00.001+01:00

So I said I was going to be blogging every week to keep you updated on my progress. Nah... I forgot. So, I just will tell you that all I have lost in a moth worth of hard gym workouts and calorie counting. 5 freaking whooping pounds that I am afraid of gaining back in any minute! I will be better though. I blame Mike :) LOL he takes me out almost every night.

Things have been pretty much the same here in my world. I went to Cali last week and came back Monday night. It was actually quite eventful. We did way too much :)

Day 1: Landed in cold and rainy California. (You would think that being Cali it would be... I don't know 75?) I think it was warmer in Utah. Anyways I was freezing my butt off. Because as smart as I am I did not take any kind of warm clothes. :( LOL Oh well. Then we headed to Bucca :) then to his parents house and then to bed. ( His=Mike Parents=In laws! I like how that sounds)

Day 2: Waked up, got ready, rode to Disneyland!!! Yuppy! :) It was so amazing. I got everything I wanted and more. Ate everything I wanted and more. Ride everything I wanted and well not really. Some rides where broke down, others broke down while in line and another broke while we where in the ride. No bueno! But I had an amazing experience we even stayed for the fireworks.

Day 3: Not much Mike went out with the boys and played golf. Me and his mom stayed at home in hopes to go out shopping. We stayed in instead. Talking about many thing and looking at pictures of when Mike was a kid. I love him. Around 1:00PM boys came back and his mom, his brother, him and I went to the Jay Leno show! :) It was so much fun. We waited for 2hours almost before the show started. Everything is live and we got to see Jennifer Hudson and William H. Macey.

His mom and his brother got to be on TV :) Mike did a bit too and me? Well I was the little tiny person next to him. You can barely tell I am there. But my friends! I am there! :) Let me guide you to the link...

http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/friday-march-25-2011/1316224/

You can see them in the back when they are asking the questions and answers when they are interviewing the audience. It was so fun.

Day 4: We went to this cute restaurant to eat breakfast and then we went sight seeing and took some pictures for one oh his mom projects called flat Stanley. Then Boys went out golfing again and we finally went out shopping. Then dinner and a movie. Oh yea!

Day 5: Palm Spring! I went to see my family and they had all this amazing food to eat. I love them so much. To bad I am always so lazy to keep in touch. We had warm clothes thinking it was going to be cold. Nope it was like 75 LOL On our way out we hit the Outlet Mall. Grab some sales and went back home.

Day 6: Went to an amazing and cute little restaurant on the pier in Long Beach.It has an amazing view. We got to put our toes in the sand. Walk around the pier. Open an oyster for $12.25 and got and pearl worth $65.00 Pretty Amazing if I do say so my self. :) Headed back home. Got ready went to dinner and then to the airport. :( Vacation over.

Now I am here with no work what so ever all deals funded. Dinner tonight with the owner.

My brother is finally back in US land. I am so Happy I am sad i missed him by two days. I really wanted to see him while I was in California.

My parents are proud citizens. Me next.

Diego is getting bigger and Dante is on the way. May 16

Kanelo lost a nail.

P.S. Trip Pictures to come! I don't have them here.

Sorry Long Post

175

2011-02-22T18:23:00.000Z

that is how much I weigh, ahhhhhhh inst that crazy????
Why am I blogging about it? well because I NEED to do something about it. I was doing so freaking good! So since yesterday I have started going to the gym AGAIN. Is a long drive since I now live far from the gym. I will try to be good and I WILL update every week so I feel like I do need to loose the pounds!

on other news....

I am going to Cali at the end of march. Yuppy!!!

V-day!

2011-02-15T23:49:00.004Z

Alright since its 4:13 and I am dying to get off work I will blog. Since I don't have absolutely nothing else to do.Hopefully by the time I am done it will be time to go. So... Title. V-day. My first real V-day. Never thought it would ever come. Remember. I used to say: Oh, I will die an old lady in a house full of cats and my flower decor with plastic on the couch, blah blah blah. Well that though is in my head no mo. Since Mr. Winck has come along. I just know. Winck :) Awesome last name, wouldn't you say? :)

Ok so since Friday I had been planning on some sugar cookies for work. Except I didn't had heart shaped cookie cutters and impossible to find. That is till I told Kaycee and she of course pointed me to the right direction but a very tempting one. Spoons and Spice. Holy baking!!! Loved the place and yes I found them. So Sat. I dedicated my self to make some cookie dough. On Sunday We sanded. Sanded? Yes, sanded. We are repainting an old piece of furniture Mike had, but that is a different story. Anyways we went for our regular Sunday walk and rock skipping fun.

The off to baking I was. Monday I gave sugar cookies to everyone for Valentines Day. They loved them.

Later I headed home and made something special for my Love Love. Nothing fancy. In fact it was really simple but he liked it! He gave me Flower and a necklace.

I love him. The to Bucca we went. All in all It was pretty awesome.

In the baking mood...

2011-01-11T17:34:00.001Z

So lately I have been in the baking mood (but then again, when have I NOT been in the mood!)

I have done several sugar cookies for Christmas and I have attempt Chocolate chip cookies, but for some reason unknown to me the freaking choc chip cookies do not turn out like cookies. They melt and end up flat. Still cant figure out why. Any who I have several different recipes I have to try before I actually give up on them.

I am proud of my sugar cookies though. Everybody loved them. I think sour cream is a nice add on to them. :) Maybe ill post the recipe later so you guys can try it too! :)

But today I am wanna share my success on the Cuban pastries I did last night! They are so delish and... Perfect. To bad they are high in calories. Just for this week though. Cause I have plan to make some Argentinian cheese bread balls!

Anyways, check the process and my end product.

Yummy! Maybe Ill post recipe! Maybe! :)

P.S. Today is 1/11/11 LOL

Twenty-Ten is Gone, Sad Face.

2011-01-08T17:49:00.001Z

So... Its been WAY too long since I've posted something in my beloved blog. Trust me. I've tried. I have several edit post that have not been posted and I don't think they will. No point now. But I will try to re-do them in pics. Pictures I have. Not many, but enough to tell my last months worth of posts. So I will start with my AMOR :) He is the one that has made everything in my life turn 360 degrees. I love him so much I have no words to actually describe my happiness. Is because of him that I have finally experience what love in return is. What been badly (in a great way) wanted feels. He has made time fly by. I cant get enough of him. I NEVER want to leave his side. He loves me as much as I do and its amazing.

So here it is, a quick rundown of my life since October (when my sister landed in SLC)

Just a few days but oh my did have fun in that small town.

Then Halloween came around and LOL I love my roommates! They make it fun!

We have been to a couple of games!!! (Counting our very first date!!!)

We have been going to many restaurants!!! (weight gain! ahhh)

Then Thanksgiving! All i have as record of it, is my amazing Lemon meringue pie I did from scratch!

We have done some remodeling at his house!! :)

Christmas came around... And my roommate, sorry, German Santa came around a few weeks early.

Then a lot of gift wrapping...

Then some family time at Gardner Village (One of my very fav places!)

Family Reunions

Christmas Day! :)

Can I tell you How much I love him????

Then Some more family time! :) At the Cabin up in Park City :) After a very long and hard day of snowmobiling.

Also, many walks in the park (even it is freezing outside)

The end! :) Ill try to be better at posting next time! :)

Today

2010-10-06T23:53:00.003+01:00

I miss London, England more than usual (I really cant say 'more than ever', because I am always missing it and well the moment I miss it like that, Ill go bunkers and I might purchase a ticket right there and then) I love London. I seriously wish I could just have the money and the time to fly there and visit the peeps I love who I know still live there and go to places where I used to be. I miss the streets, every single one, each street has a story like each building has mystery. London full of beauty, fashion, uniqueness and past. I miss walking to school each morning. Smelling the fresh air. Walking (well... sometimes running) with my headphones, rushing thru the crowd of people. Waiting for the bus of hopping on the tube. Walking down Oxford Street, Regents, then New Cavendish to get into Soho and so on till I would get home Leicester square! :) Loved Walking at night watching the moon. Walking thru the parks feeding the ducks. Enjoying the amazing London Weather. LOVE it. OK enough of that. London I miss you today! :)

Its Official!

2010-09-29T23:27:00.000+01:00

Him and I are together! and well... Loving it! Loving every single second of it! :) It appears we cant get enough of each other. I haven't been able to get my beauty sleep for quite a while because I am to busy enjoying time with my boy. (Because he is mine, you know? and well... I am his!) Its funny because we think alike, quiet moments are not weird, I can totally be myself with him (you know that kid that comes out every day) and we can just say the most beautiful things to each other :) Is kind of fast but I have no doubt in my heart he is here to well... stay :) Do you see all the smiles that are spreading in this post? :) That's my happiness radiating in it. I met his Fam. last weekend and they are so great and the way he was with his nieces and nephews blew me away. I love it. He is so sweet :) I can only imagine!
So... Since he introduced me to some of his family, I will be introducing some of mine this next weekend when my sister comes to the Springs that are Hot like Lava :) and we are going up there to be with them :) Love it! I really do like him, well... Let me take that back. I do not like him any more, because now this feeling is more than JUST liking. I cant wait to see him tonight and the night after that. :) I know this is lame but I need to share true happiness after so much unneeded pain! :)

Life thus far

2010-09-23T23:04:00.001+01:00

Has been pretty exciting. I have learn so much! I have let go and I am moving on. Its not official yet... But I am dating this wonderful guy. He makes me feel so cared for. I assume he likes me a lot. He calls me his Princess, Sexy, Beautiful, you name it. Sweetie, Sunshine, etc. etc. Love it. He makes me feel so wanted and special. Everything has happen so quickly, but you know what? I like him a lot and for the first time in many years I feel like I don't have to hold back on my feelings I don't have to hide I don't have to pretend like everything is OK and that it will get better. For the first time I have someone that is ONLY mine and LOVE it. He is big and strong and I love his smile, his honesty, his determination, etc. etc. Crazy but we've hung out for days already and it feels so good. He brings smiles to my face and well kisses or course! All I am trying to say is that he is pretty awesome and yes, we are taking it as it comes. But we do have tons of fun together. So... If at the end of the day it doesn't work out. At least I had an awesome time while it lasted. :) Not that is coming at all, cause, well... We like each other so much we cant get enough of it. So here's to us and new beginnings. Also I am glad he is not my rebound, my rebound lasted NOT long at all. But at least he help me get over things and out there and bless his soul I hope he is happy with his girl too. He is an awesome boy and so he deserves the same (that is an awesome girl). As for me... for sure moving forward.

My brother is already in Afghanistan he sends greetings to all fellow blogger and stalkers! :) Here's a pic for you guys and the email my mom got.

Mrs. Garcia,

I am a pilot for the United States Air Force and wanted to personally send you a note letting you know that your son arrived in theater safely. We had Oscar sit up front on the flight deck with us where he was able to relax as he made his journey. It was a pleasure flying him to his destination and getting the chance to know him, please see the attached photo.

It has been a tradition for me to have our youngest/newest soldier sit up front with us. Because I have children back home, I know how it can be hard when you don't have direct contact with them. This is the most I can do to help ease the concerns of family members back home. In addition, I want to thank you and your son for the service that both of you are committed to in supporting and defending our country.

Very Respectfully,

Capt James "Hud" Hudson

Ciao for now X

U.S of A Hero

2010-09-15T02:15:00.002+01:00

I have decide to dedicate a post to the most amazing, funniest, caring, big hearted boy I know and love. My little Kakita, chorrio, popis, poop, etc. etc. etc. I have had the pleasure of being his sister for this long and well... I LOVE HIM to death!

This boy...

Who makes me laugh every time, I laugh with him, I laugh at him and still remain so loved.

This guy is a bad boy with the heart of GOLD, seriously I am not kidding.

I know this will sound dumb and in a way probably make him want to punch me for saying this. But he is the kind of brother who will still stay with you at night if he feels like it.

He is the kind of boy who will defend anything or anyone. He is the one with the one and million laughs. He will love you for ever.

Granted, because of him, I Lidia Garcia have suffer greatly. Thanks to the fact that he would blame me for everything in front of my parental units and since he was the baby everyone would believe him. You know, the luck of the family's baby. Of course they will believe when it comes to the middle one being the problem or when I would hit him ONLY after he would hit me FIRST. I would get all the blame. Uh and I hated him for that! (I love him though!). He is the boy who will send you a pic of his poop via text message. :) LOL but in all seriousness what brother doesn't do that? I have heard worst stories. He is the one who would buy $50 worth of candy and eat it in an hour. You will not meet anyone who likes sugar more than my brother. He who kept Garcia-Figueroa as his last name only to honor my grandfathers memory. (Since he never had any sons). My brother who learned to drive before I did. who would help my dad in anything even if he didn't want to. My brother who secretly thinks he is the white power-ranger. The cool boy, the one that everyone loves.

He the boy who always fight with me over baby pictures saying he was me! :)

(Me...Cute)

(Him... We can Obviously see the resemblance)

Now, in one day he will be sent to Afghanistan to help and protect fellow brothers and this county. This is probably one of the hardest things I've had to do. ACCEPT it. Ever since he was born all I have wanted to do is protect him. He wanted to be a Firefighter, I said no. You will burn. He wanted to be a police man, I said no. You will get shot. He wanted to be an airplane pilot, I said no. The plane will fall. So... you can see it brings tears to my eyes accepting what he chose. Because I cannot protect him there. He will be far away and I wont be able to be there for him.

So all I can say, Is Gordo... I love you so much. I will miss you, so please keep in touch. I don't know what I will do with out you. So please, please, please be careful. I love you and I need you! Please come back safe. Be smart. Be Fast. Be Strong. We all love you and will be waiting for you! I am so proud of you. even though you are still my baby brother. I love you and I still want to protect you even if I cant. Our Heavenly Father WILL be with you and the people around you. The spirit will guide you and many will be praying for you including people who don't know you, only because of the great courage you have. Te AMO....

The Few. The Proud. The Marines.

Of course there is so much more about him I have not shared with you. But trust me when I say, I would never finish if that was the case.

I must

2010-09-11T00:58:00.002+01:00

update my blog at least once in a while, but in reality I guess I am too lazy. Not that I don't have good stories, its just that must of what I want to write about is the pain and sadness I still feel (for many different reasons of course, but pain and sadness none the less)

Almost a month and I still feel like going back and apologize for everything, although my head tells me not to. So I pray and I pray for the pain to go away. I have faith some day it will. It did once before, all i want is for it to go away for good. I cant keep thinking or wishing it was otherwise. I have done that before and it only destroys me. The only thing I hate is remembering stuff just by looking at things that once meant something to me. I guess that's why its harder. All in all, the only consolation I have would be that everyone on this earth goes thru that. Its part of life and we must endure to the end.

Things other than that have not been bad. Sad yes. But its because i love and well... We all know what love is essential in our lives so is not like we can just ignore the freaking feeling, right? LOL

I've been to Texas and loved it. Cause well... I didn't have to stay there for to long. (must clarify, that i would have loved to stay there way way longer, but uh the weather kills me!)

Not to much to say about that except that my family means the world to me and they are my strength. So let me show you a few moments from last last week! :)

My padre, who deserves his own post and he will get it. But he is such an inspiration I have to be honest I had never really notice. But he has a heart of a King and I love him.

My Madre who also has a heart of a Queen, the way she is, the culture she has, she is so proper and classy. She is my confident and best friend. Although she did get kind of mad when we gave her the option of serving pizza instead of Lasagna. Her answer was: If we are going to serve pizza go upstairs and change into jeans. LOL LOVE her.

My sister, my brother ~~in law~~ and baby Diego. Oh wait cant forget Goofy and Kanelo. After all they are part of the family along with my monster Kolatte.

and my brother, my hero, USA hero. He deserves a post of his own as well and that one is coming right after this one.

All I know is that we where born to be together. Everyone in the family is essential for the happiness of this unit. I could not have ask for a better dad, mom, brother and sister. and lets not forget the add-ons. LOVE THEM to bits.

RIP to My Best Friend

2010-08-13T07:00:00.006+01:00

and to the love of my life. Today my friend is gone. Circumstances: Confidential/Painful. Not knowing my best friend's destiny, we parted ways. My best friend was loved, deeply loved by me. But today he is gone. Sounds like a scary story, it might just be. I feel like I might die with him as well. Sadly he left with out a Good Bye. But here are my goodbyes to you.

Dear Best Friend, I love you. I would have done anything to keep you close and alive. ANYTHING. Reality is, I was the ONLY one willing to do it and when I realize you would not do the same. It hit me hard, like a bullet. Granted. I do not know the pain that comes with a bullet wound. But this is pretty close if not worse. After this kind of wound, sadly I didn't die, I was just in serious pain. But you did. You lived in me and I now you are gone.

I cannot stop crying, I cannot. My eyes are filled with tears, that your painful death left. So many times I tried so hard to keep you alive, but tonight you are gone. And you will get mad and sad I did this to you. But you wont do anything about it. You are 6 feet under and gone. You will accept it, because you feel like you don't deserve better. Like you don't deserve my happiness in your life. Like you did this and you deserve it. The sad thing though, is that is the truth.You have hurt me in every way possible. You have disappointed me like no one has. You have made me feel like I am not worth anything. You have made feel like I only deserve to wait. That it will never be my turn and that all has been my fault. That I am the one who should not be thinking of you! Guess what? I am so done! I cannot take this pain anymore. I have to let you go. It kills me to know that I am doing this because I want you alive and with me. But you my best friend are gone today. It's tragic. I though you where gone long time ago, to my surprise you came back, only this time you came for the last time. I was ok with your ghost . I really was. I was willing to accept everything and anything to keep you close to me. I guess it has never been enough because there is ALWAYS someone better than me. But again you will never come back, because you don't want to bring pain to my heart. Because you think you have done enough. Because you will NEVER do anything to change. Because first you have to change your pride and then your self-esteem, before you can ever think of loving again. I know that by this I am killing you a bit more and that means that you will never come back. You will stay like that. I hope you get what you want. I am no longer here. I was trying so hard to stay above water, but you have done everything to push me back in. I was so close to forget you. You had to come back and lie and hurt me. You are not the person who I though you were. You are not the person I want. You are not the person I lost. You are the person who is gone today because that's what you chose. I will be better with out you. But it hurts so bad I want to burn this heart that is in me today. I wanna stop having feelings for you. I wan to stop wanting you! I want all of this to stop. Again, Because of all of this I will be dead soon too. You will let me go. you will try to forget about me and you will. Peace out! If you EVER come back, come back as the man you want to be, as that man I love, as that man that we both can be proud of. I will understand if you never want to speak to me again. I have burn you and your pride and for that, you will NEVER forgive me. I am so sorry. You might even hate me. But you will NEVER do anything to change my mind, because you will accept everything I have said. I though you loved me. But you can be happy and I wont know. So be happy. But more than anything I want you to proof me wrong.

Post Edit: I really don't want to talk about it. I just need to vent.
P.E. 2: I needed to make some changes. It sounded kind of hard all the dying and killing! But the idea remains the same. Although, some times I feel like I need to go back and say I am sorry. It hurts me to think I have hurt him. If that is even possible.

In a few weeks...

2010-08-12T23:51:00.000+01:00

Ill be heading home to see my family. I am so grateful for the place I work at, they have given me so much and are always willing to keep me happy! Life has def not been easy and most of you know why. But its just the right thing to do. AGAIN we cannot hope for change if we don't do anything about it and I can only do so much. Pain still lingers in my heart in fact I think they have become best friends. I have bee reading Eat. Pray. Love and its amazing how much I love his book. There are so many things I feel and she describes them perfectly.

"So tonight I reach for my journal again. This is the first time I’ve done this since I came to Italy. What I write in my journal is that I am weak and full of fear. I explain that Depression and Loneliness have shown up, and I’m scared they will never leave. I say that I don’t want to take the drugs anymore, but I’m frightened I will have to. I am terrified that I will never really pull my life together.

In response, somewhere from within me, rises a now-familiar presence, offering me all the certainties I have always wished another person would say to me when I was troubled. This is what I find myself writing on the page:
I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it—I will love you through that, as well. If you don’t need the medication, I will love you, too. There’s nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than Depression and Braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.
Tonight, this strange interior gesture of friendship—the lending of a hand from me to myself when nobody else is around to offer solace—reminds me of something that happened to me once in New York City. I walked into an office building one afternoon in a hurry, dashed into the waiting elevator. As I rushed in, I caught an unexpected glance of myself in a security mirror’s reflection. In that moment, my brain did an odd thing—it fired off this split-second message: “Hey! You know her! That’s a friend of yours!” And I actually ran forward toward my own reflection with a smile, ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar. In a flash instant of course, I realized my mistake and laughed in embarrassment at my almost doglike confusion over how a mirror works. But for some reason that incident comes to mind again tonight during my sadness in Rome, and I find myself writing this comforting reminder at the bottom of the page.
Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a FRIEND…
I fell asleep holding my notebook pressed against my chest, open to this most recent assurance. In the morning when I wake up, I can still smell a faint trace of depression’s lingering smoke, but he himself is nowhere to be seen. Somewhere during the night, he got up and left. And his buddy loneliness beat it, too."
— Elizabeth Gilbert

That's just something that made me think and realize that in a way I feel the same, this book is so great and well it makes me remember Italy and why I love it so much. The reason why I should finish learning Italian and the reason why I should live there. Oh memories sometimes your best friend, sometimes your wost enemy. Reason as to why I still Love and Hate. Both such strong words, both so real.

I have so many stories I want to blog about but no worries Ill come back with pictures and fun stories! :) Love you if you read my blog only if its the two of you! :)

Nadia Ali : Promises

2010-07-31T16:26:00.000+01:00

All your promises, I've said before
They're only words to fill the space, you won't explore
All your promises, I'm so naive
Because I wanted you and wanted to believe
Like I've always done

Where, where do we go, where do we go from here?
After all the thoughtless things we said
Where, where do we go, where do we go from here?
Now that all the, all the love is dead

You held the secret key straight to my soul
I gave it all to you, you took more than you know
Oh the bitter truth is that I'm better off without you
And I still I know, to let you go will take me years to do

Where do we go, where do we go from here?
After all the thoughtless things we said
Where, where do we go, where do we go from here?
Now that all the, all the love is dead

As time goes by

2010-07-30T22:20:00.000+01:00

the more I learn about life and its hidden mysteries in it. Although we want things so bad to go our way, its really not in our time but Gods time and all his wonderful blessings. Although we may think things are not bearable, he shows otherwise. True, I don't have what I want or what I desire at the moment but is making me stronger. I am amazed at how strong my heart is becoming. Not sure if its good or bad. Sometimes I feel like my heart is becoming a rock, like I don't care anymore and that anything can just pass by with out any reaction from me. But then... something happens and I remember I still have one and that is alive, in pain but alive. I cant wait to NOT be in pain. To be fulfill with love. I don't wish this on anyone at all. Not even my worst enemy, cause trust me she is the cause. But I don't wish it on anyone, not even her. (For being STUPID!!! like people on 'Family Feud' LOL)
Am I evil? Yes I believe I am. Its life.

When times get hard...

2010-07-09T20:24:00.001+01:00

I just wanted to post this. Today for some odd reason I been feeling not so good, hence the previous post.

Anywho... I been off all day today because I fight with my heart and since my heart is stronger my mind get supper upset. Then logic comes in and well I end up having a medieval battle. Sad.

But I received and emailed today that made me smile a lot :) and then I felt better. Then I received a call, from this girl that work at one of the banks we do business with. I hardly knew her at all but long story short they let her go and so on Tuesday morning when I came in they just told me she was gone. Today I get that call. is her and she tells me this: Hey this is ... and I just wanted to say, it has been a pleasure working with you, you are so wonderful and I loved getting to know you. You made my job easier. You truly know what you are doing and I am glad they hire such a wonderful person like you. Your department took a 180 turn and I am glad they have you. Please keep up the good work you are a wonderful person.

That right there made me cry, I was in tears. I thank her and told her that I could not believe she actually though of me and that I hope she was ok and that if she needed anything I was there. Today, of all days she though of me and then she calls me to make me feel a million times better. To add to the blessings of the day they got Pizza so, I think even though you feel down and sad and somehow lonely, there is always someone truly thinking about you who actually cares.

So to my Amiga's I love you guys, I am glad you are in my life and I thank you for the support you give me while I go thru this calls broken. I am always thinking of you too.

P.S. Yesterday this guy taught me how to play Chess :) It was kind of boring but interesting in a way. LOTS of trick and thinking about moves. But all I could think was Harry Potter and the sorcerer's stone! :)

100th Post

2010-07-09T19:08:00.000+01:00

Ok, so I don't have anything super exciting to blog about, time has been hard on me but gentle in a way! One month ago today was my birthday and it makes me feel like I am a month closer to 26, that's gotta be freaky, I already feel old as it is and well... I hate it.

Two weeks later or so... I fix my draft.
So like I was saying, time has been hard, constantly having a fight with myself is exhausting. I need to believe there is something better waiting for me. I guess I am just afraid of not feeling like I did. So scared, I panic all the time. I am trying so hard NOT to fall and find my way. I am the cause and I go in search of it.

Sometimes I wish I was a 'Who' and live in 'Whoville', they sure know how to have fun and enjoy their tiny little lives. I would have nothing to worry, except that I was in a clover. Then again maybe I wouldn't. You know how I feel right now? Like Jojo on the first scene

LOL But maybe I should be like Katie

I guess I just want to feel this: You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

Time

2010-06-07T18:42:00.002+01:00

Is pretty much the best medicine, Time is what actually heals you, only time knows when the pain will be removed, is time who makes thing pass and make it only a memory or desire and our Heavenly Father is who created that time. Time runs, sometimes slow and a few times super fast. Basically Two weeks ago I turned 25 and it was snowing, Two weeks after, I am roasting like a turkey and thinking at least I am not in Houston, Cause I would be roasting like a pig.

I am felling so much better about life, a few bumps and bruises along the way but is nothing that cant be fixed. I have decided to let go and so... I will continue with a positive attitude.

So far I have applied for 3 volunteering opportunities. My first choice would be where I help Latin people to learn English, It would only be a few days during the afternoon and maybe Saturdays, My second choice would be the Salt Lake Library also in the afternoons and Saturdays and then my third choice would be the Provo Library, here I would only be helping on Saturdays or main events, yes, It is a bit of a drive but a change of scenery would not be bad once in a while! :) So hopefully I'll get contacted by one of them. I really wan to be doing something with my time and how wonderful would be to serve others! :) I am also Officially a Ward Member all my records are transfer and no more jumping from 9:00 to 11:00 :) I have officially enroll in Institute and start Wednesday, so... If you think about it, I will be a busy bee. But I love it. A lot of single adult activities which I will try and attend. Yay, lets mingle! LOL yea right, like I am a mingler! LOL But Ill try!

So... My birthday was at Bucca, by far my fav restaurant. Italian of course. and with people that I absolutely LOVE.

Memorial day also has come and gone, Thank goodness for LONG weekends! :) It was fun, Monday We headed to Park City and went on the rides and then we headed to a celebration with Sam's Family and all we did was eat and lay in the grass! :)

I love Salt Lake, I Love my Baby Diego and I love Ferrero Rocher!!!

P.S. I Just got a call from my fist choice and I am taking it! Yay Ill be Volunteering on Mondays! Yay

Probably...

2010-06-01T22:52:00.001+01:00

One of the worst nights on the book. I was left with my tears, my thoughts and my loneliness again. I don't blame anyone. I did this, so I had to do something about it. There's so much pain in my heart at the moment is pretty much unbearable. My eyes are tired. My mind needs rest. All I was able to do was pray and cry. Asking for forgiveness and clarity. Asking for peace, guidance and to make me strong, while my heart was been crushed all over again. Part by sadness, part by anger. I think what triggered it was an specific response that I can barely remember now, but it sounded something like: Of course, why not! My obvious response should have been: Because I though you loved me. Instead I felt sick to the point that my mind was blocked and his word were my tears. I could hear him but I was not listening. So if you ask me what was the rest of what he said I would probably say: I don't know. The only thing I can remember is him telling me that he was lost, he didn't know what he wanted and that he was having a really hard time in his life at the moment and that makes me want to heal his heart, makes me not want to leave him, makes me want to be by his side. Truth is I love him, his not mine, he will not be mine, I have to let go and believe that there is someone out there for me that will know I am worth keeping. I don't want to talk, I don't want to smile, I don't want to pretend. I just wish he could be strong enough to come back and have words to make me feel better. This is all I know, this is all I can remember. My pain, my tears, his face and that letter that is still in pieces on the back of my seat.

My Current Situation...-

2010-05-28T23:53:00.002+01:00

As always heartbroken, screaming in silence, crying with out been notice, loving a ghost. I am constantly torn apart by my feelings, people, time, space, freedom. I am sick and tired of everything. I melt every time I am faced with walls I wished had doors. I cant help someone that does not want to be helped. Truth is I am a fighter and its hard to let go. I hate drama and that's why I ask for honesty. Instead I am pushed away and ignored. I know I sound dreadly pitiful, but please don't feel sorry for me, I AM the cause, the reason, the one who chose this. So please don't, is something I have to deal myself. How many times have I tried to walk away from something I know it will only bring me to tears at the end. I am so afraid of losing it. If I am not needed then why should I have the need. Why make him my priority when I am simply an option. I guess is NOT understood I am the one alone and left to the mercy of my thoughts.

Italia mia!

2010-05-22T20:58:00.002+01:00

Oh I love Italy! It makes my heart warm and happy! If I could ask for one wish would be to live in Italia. Then I would not care about broken hearts and any other kind of crap! So I am making this promise, in 5 yrs from now,IF I don't get what I want I am moving to Italy. THAT is a PROMISE!!! :) I will live my last days in a wonderful place! and who knows maybe some Sexy Italian will come and sweep me of my feet! :) and we can live in a small villa on top of a hill full of olive trees and kids running around screaming CIAO BELLA MAMA!!! LOL wouldn't that be so cute? I can just picture myself cooking like crazy for my hard working husband and my Italian babies. Some bread, olive oil, cheese, tomato, basil, pasta, pizza, gelato and tons more! Uh isn't Italian Cuisine the best! I love it, just one more reason to live there among many others. Like the weather, the freshness feeling of life, everything green and old, something to look forward if things don't turn out the way I plan! and now that i think about it, option B sounds so much better! Uh steamy! :) Have you ever watch 'Under the Tuscan Sun'? Hands down one of my favorite movies minus the rated R parts. But Love it. Just yesterday I watched 'Letters to Juliet', Oh men, so cute! the scenery is beautiful, I was amazed by how beautiful Italy is. I have been there twice and Loved every single minute of it! Love the language, Love the people, the culture, their history and how happy and romantic they are! That's why I am calling my daughter Vienna Alessandra (or some other Italian City) and going to Venice for my Honeymoon, so forget about Paris, VENICE all the way!

im·pa·tience

2010-05-19T17:50:00.001+01:00

–noun

1.lack of patience.

2.eager desire for relief or change; restlessness.

3.intolerance of anything that thwarts, delays, or hinders.

Lately I have notice that I suffer from this disease, truthfully that's how it feels. I have been so impatient that I really have to work on it. Is like my heart cant take it! I been like this since I was a little kid. I guess it developed due to my mother. Hahahahaha NOT that I am blaming her. Well maybe just a little, jajajaja, NO not really. See, whenever we would go and run some errands, my mom would always say: 'wait here, I wont take long' and like a good girl. I did. BUT that 'I wont take LONG' took for freaking ever. To the point that I started crying! because I was so upset about it. I guess I don't like to be told that something is going to happen in a certain way and it never does. Because I don't mind waiting if its 6:00 and they tell me they will be out at 10:00. I can wait 4hours without a problem, but please be out at 10. Cause if its 10:05 and you are not out I start to get upset, so IF 10:30 comes around and you are not with me, the next time you see me I'll be super upset or crying! Alright??? LOL But please oh please do tell me when you are planning to come out, because if i don't know it works even worst, because then I don't have a finish point and Ill be crying 5min after your gone! LOL

Now if you update me on things during that time then we are totally fine, as long as I am getting updates. You know me and my imagination might think you abandon me! LOL

“One has to wait without impatience for what should come, and yet at the same time do everything within one's power as though one were impatient and as though one were solely responsible.”

Oh today my roommates and I (well... Not sure about Kaycee) will run (Maybe, probably, mostly sure we will walk) a 5k. Don't know where yet though! But i guess is going to be fun!

I admire this woman with ALL my heart!

2010-05-08T21:17:00.002+01:00

The one with the FRIENDS realization.

2010-05-06T17:23:00.002+01:00

May is here, I don't want to say finally because it means that I will be 25 in... let me see... 19days. Wow and the only thing that I am maybe looking forward is lower rate on my car insurance IF i get it AND IF its true! I have plans to go skydiving, but that wont be till probably June. I am not freaked out about jumping out of a plane (I might be once I am up there) but I am at the landing! I am afraid my knees are just going to break, but I WILL do it just because I am cool like that! LOL

Life is going good so far (but like I said on prev post, with a few exceptions, not bad ones, just different).

Love is a tricky subject for me. The love of my life is so close and yet so freaking far. I am so so so so Happy to know he is there. But is so hard to know I cant have him. I guess a lot of us go thru that, my case is a bit special. I like to call it my soap life, cause in a way, that is what is like! You know those stupid shows that never have an ending EVEN if the world knows you should be together but a series of unfortunate events take place? Well that is pretty much like it! I do love him and been the emotional, caring, loving person that I am, is pretty darn hard not to express those feelings. In a way I am trap to how much I can do. We know, we know and it goes two ways. He decides to do whats right for him, and in that right I either end loosing or winning. NOT that it is a game, BUT that's the only way I can phrase it. I wish so hard to be free to express myself without being locked.

On a different subject and along my Title line:

I guess I have always though I was a Monica, you know cause I am a bit of a clean freak, like my things a certain way and love to cook?

Well as I have watch the seasons I have slowly realized THAT I am def NOT her! LOL I know is stupid but I can bet ya that most people identify with one character or another. Am I right? Specially if you love FRIENDS.

But now I know I am def a Rachel. Cause Phoebe is out the question. LOL

SL Life so fa...

2010-05-04T17:49:00.000+01:00

Alright peeps, I have to update, although all the people that I think read this are my two roomies, I am still going to do it for me. Things surprisingly are going awesome. Well, with a few exceptions. I did find a job, after TWO weeks. The place is called ... not sure if I should disclose this online. some creep might come and hunt me down! LOL so lets just keep it on "I have a Job". Yay for me! I am a proud Funding Manager! Me liky the title! LOL As always (and it will never change) I miss my famila. They are my rock basically! I talk to them all the time, and although we are miles apart we connect. Thanks for technology we are able to stay in touch.
I love Utah weather, it could not please me more, that we still have cold days here! :) Ya know, me and my weirdness, but I do LOVE IT!!!
I have been going to church, WOW, LOL I do go to church. :) Sometimes, ONLY sometimes, I am a slacker! :(
Anyways I have had some seriously funny situations with boys! Not that I am planning on that but I have had them.
My first Sunday I browsed around, you know, checking boys out and decide who would be my target! LOL Like my roomies say: my EC = Eternal Companion! LOL (I do have an EC but I believe he is taken at the moment). Well that Sunday I think I found that target! :)
The next Sunday we decided to check the earlier meeting and guess what? He attends that meeting. Well we go to Sunday school and he was all the way in the back and we where in the front, all I could think was 'That guy is SO HOT!' Well, time goes by and then he raises his hand to give a though about what they where talking and I wa just blown away by his hotness. When he finished talking I turn around and express my deep feelings to my roommate Sam. I say: He is SOOO HOOOT!!! and when I look up there was this other cute guy staring at me and smiles, the he whispers: Don't worry, I WONT say a thing! LOL and then he makes a heart with his hands and proceeds to break it! LOL he was sad cause I said the other guy was hot! What I should have said was: Don't worry you are really good looking too! But I was too red to even look at him again. He was really cute though! I think I am going to that ward!.

Last Sunday, We decide to go to the later meeting cause Sam wanted to join that one (NOT where the cute guys are! *Bummer*) we have sacrament, the new members meeting and we head out for relief society, the church president looks at us and says HI, he asked us if he had join the ward, Sam said yes, he said: You made a very wise decision. He asked me: How about you? I said: I am not sure yet! He said: (I don't really remember word by word but it does go along these lines). Why? Let me tell you. We have the best looking guys and they have a lot of money!
So... basically all lot of guys with money attend that ward. But I said: Well that's good but all I really care is to fall madly deeply in Love with someone, so... I really don't care about the money, if he has some then that's a bonus.
I guess he just smiled and said you are right or something like that. We then go to Relief Society and when we come out the president is talking to a good looking guy, the he looks at me and then he tells him: Have you met Lidia? She is new in the ward and then he leaves, and the guy just looks at me and he is like, nice to meet you you are going to love this ward! LOL I can believe the President wanted to hook me up with guys already just to get me in the ward!
Funny! But I still might want the earlier meeting, you know, HOT guy is there and CUTE guy too! :)

Yesterday night we went to watch 'Date Night' with my roommates and well... I loved it! It was so funny.
Part of me want to have a cute husband like that right now! :) WHERE is my EC???
I wanna talk about that but that will have its own post. My EC and me never settling.

Job Hunting!

2010-04-16T18:47:00.000+01:00

Is the most depressing, crazy, undesirable thing on this planet! Ahhh I feel bad for the peeps that are in my position! Trying to find a good, well-paid, stable job. Thank goodness for Craigslist, Monster.com, Careerbuilder and such! without you, I would be heading to doom! Well... I am in it but I am confident ill find one soon! Is just a big headache, all I can do is blame the economy. I cannot even remember to how many jobs I have applied. Is crazy to think I am not good enough or cheap enough to be taken in consideration. They prefer people that would work for minimum wage instead of someone that can actually do the job right! Ahhhh again. ECONOMY!!!
So here I am sitting on the couch waiting for time to go by so I can go to my interviews, while searching for more job openings that would actually fit me!
We went out dancing yesterday with my roommies and I loved it! I danced my stress away and today I am fully confident I will get a GOOD JOB!!! :) LOL at least thats what I am trying to convince myself of!
The past two weeks have been SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO boring that I not only need a job for money but I need to be doing something too! I love my Vacation but it has to end! I WANT a Job I NEED a job.

Rodeo Fun

2010-03-25T21:02:00.001Z

Ok So this is call Mutton Bustin' is probably the funniest thing I've ever seen! Loved it and could not stop laughin!!! :)

I think this is amazing!!!

And they have more competition, but those are my favorite ones! :)

A little bit of my fun at the Main Club! All you can see are hats!

and the last concert of Brooks and Dunn.

Rodeo Final

2010-03-25T19:23:00.001Z

I am back after a week of not posting anything. I am here to finalize my Rodeo experience. So I told you the story about the HOT cowboys? Right? OK.

So... on Wednesday Amy told me if I wanted to go to the Rodeo again on Wednesday and maybe we could go to the boot place to see that guy again and maybe talk to him. So of course I Lidia Garcia said yes! I’ll go! I’ll be there! :) Yeehaw! LOL
So I stop to get a parking pass from Amy's mom and head to the place where I was going to meet Amy to go just in one car but to make a LONG story short. I apparently got the place messed up and she ended up going to the Rodeo and I was going to meet her there instead. I got lost, blah blah blah!!! I got there a little bit before the concert so I was unable to see him (hot cowboy). So then, we go to this bar to meet some of Amy's friends, we where waiting for the tickets for us to go to our seats, but as it turns out... We NEVER got them. So we had to stay at the bar. At this point I was completely disappointed about everything. LATE, NO TICKETS, NO HOT COWBOY, AT A BAR (I don’t even drink!), Amy talking to other people and I was left all alone in the middle of the bar, looking like a LOSER!!! LOL :( TRUE. Although... They have the most random fun simple things at the rodeo that I will be sharing with you later. So anyways, there I was all upset and looking like a loser at the screens to at least get to watch the concert from there, when this MAN comes up to me. Gets really close and tells me:

MAN: you look like you are having tons of fun! :)
ME: I look at him, kind of smile and think OMGosh WHAT DOES HE WANT??? I mean add the antisocial person that I am and me being upset; you can kind of get the picture I WAS NOT BY ALL MEANS HAPPY. Yes, sure he was trying to be nice and he was not a bad looking guy, but he could have been my dad, because he was that OLD and all I could think was Oh this night!!!
MAN: What are you doing here?
ME: Look at him again, and think, well he might be drunk (he didn’t look drunk, but that’s what I though) and he might not care what I tell him. So... LOL I start to VENT. LOL I tell him how crappy the night is, how I didn’t get to be where I wanted to be and how I will never be fit to find someone who will love me for ever and how sometimes I feel my life is going no where! LOL
MAN: Starts giving me this speech of how young and beautiful I am and that I am just stating a rollercoaster of heartbreaks and that the LOVE of my life WILL come and find ME and that my goals will be MY mans goals! It was so sweet!
ME: LOL I almost wanted to cry! He was telling me everything I needed to hear, he was lifting my spirit, he was listening to me and my feelings.
MAN: You know what? When are you coming back to the rodeo? I want to do something for you!
ME: Well on Saturday we are coming back, why?
MAN: I want to buy you the boots! I want you to call me on Saturday and buy you the boots! Under one condition and one condition ONLY
ME: I was shocked, this man wanted to buy me an $800.00 boots! WHY? What condition?
MAN: You have to ask that guy at the boot place to go out with you, you I have to tell him if he would like to go somewhere. And IF you do, Ill buy you the boots, you just call me and we will do it, so there is a pen and find some paper you are getting my number and you call me.
ME: Shocked, there was NO FREAKING WAY I would do such thing! LOL
MAN: I hope you call me.

OK, so there was more to this night but this is getting too long, it turns out he has A LOT, A LOT, A LOT of money and he was NOT DRUNK! LOL He was actually sober whenever he heard me, when he made me feel so much better and when he promised me the pair of boots! The night ended and at the end of the day, it was all worth it, not because of the boots, but because he actually cared about me. A complete stranger, out of no where cared about ME.
I went back on Saturday with plans of asking the HOT guy out. But he was not there. So I never called the man. But I will at least text him and thank him for his good heart! :)
Saturday nothing to amazing, I just dance with another cowboy country music and had lots of fun.

Lady Antebellum

2010-03-16T16:13:00.002Z

All I can say is: WOW

They have Rodeo Games at the Arena and then the assemble the stage in a matter of seconds.

And then... LADY ANTEBELLUM

They where SO good! They sang my Wedding Song:

When you got a good thing

The Song I dedicate to him:

Need you now

(LOL you can hear me sing in the background!!!)

And the Song that made me Love them (Thank you Sam):

Run to you

And others from their new album. It was grand! Loved IT.

Cowboy Heaven, Yeehaw!!!

2010-03-16T15:06:00.002Z

Yesterday Amy and I went to the Rodeo, This only happens once a year in Houston and all the cowboys from around the US and I think of the world gather here to compete. I think they also stop in San Antonio and Las Vegas. Anyways is a big deal. Well a lot of artist come down here and perform each day of the Rodeo and yesterday night was Lady Antebellum. Needless to say is was pretty much AMAZING. There where tons of people and HOT HOT HOT COWBOYS everywhere!!!

OMGosh! Let me tell you the story as to why I will never be fit to date! I am a freaking mess. Alright, so my friend wants to go to a store where there is a guy she liked and gave her his card at the cook-off. (Mind you they only sell cowboy stuff that I am not interested at all, well… maybe a few things.) The Cowboy boots started at $800.00 so that is pretty much insane judging by the fact that I would probably never wear them unless of course I marry a cowboy and live in a farm and do cowboyish stuff. LOL

Back to the story, so we go inside the store and walk around pretending to look at stuff just so she could find the guy she wanted to talk to. We keep walking around and then she tells me, there he is. I could not find him for the life of me. He was getting lost in all the boots and purses and hats and buckles. LOL Unfortunately he was helping some lady and she didn’t want to bug. At this point we move to a small room where I found some pretty amazing rubber boots. Suddenly this HOT HOT HOT Cowboys walks up to me and tells me: Are you interested in boots and then PANIC cause he is so amazingly hot and I just smile and nod my head. Amy then tells him that I am interested in the rubber boots, but that my concern was if they would work in snow!!! LOL (witch is true; I had asked her that a few minutes earlier.) He then looks at me, smiles, gets closer to me, he keeps smiling and then he laughs. LOL

He’s like: Well… they are made for water for I don’t see why they would not work in snow, why are you worried about that?
Me: The Stupid Shocked Idiot who was still amazed by his hotness, tells him: I am moving to Utah, I smile, I move back and forth, I am super nervous and can hardly make eye contact.
Hot Cowboy: Oh :( looks into my eyes (of course I melt) and says: That is a BIG BIG Shame.
Me: Look into his eyes smile and smile some more. (He was hot!)
Hot cowboy: keeps making eye contact and tells me if I want something to drink?
Me: Nah I don’t drink.
Hot cowboy: touches my arm and makes eye contact again! He would not stop looking at me!
Me: In SHOCK, Hot can this hot hot cowboy be interested in me? (Did I mention he was hot? Or maybe all the cowboyness in him was radiating like a star! LOL)
Hot Cowboy: Are you sure you don’t want anything? (At this point he completely forgets about boots and selling stuff to me!) It was only him trying to talk to me some more.
Amy: Alright we have to go.
Me: I get all like: oh oh ok! I guess :(
Hot cowboy: looks into my eyes again (of course I melt again). Makes a sad face and tells me: If you change your mind, come again.

So we go, and then this other hot cowboy (who was NOT as hot as the other one) comes around like a few minutes after that and proceeds to say: Oh pretty ladies, how are ya’ll tonight? We tell him we are fine and of course the same nervous dance kicks in and makes me look like a fool. He smiles, but this time he goes straight to the point, he looks at me and tells me: are you single? I look at him in shock for been so forward, smile and say YES! And then he tells Amy, are you single too? And of course she says YES! LOL He said would one of you go out in a date with me? Then he hugs us and starts talking for a little while. We never talked about boots, except at the end, LOL when I disappointed him and told him I didn’t see the purpose in getting super expensive boots! Anywho, we never talked to the other guy that she was really interested in and actually missed out on other two that where interested in us. Oh men they where so hot! But ill be going back this Saturday! A date with once of those cute (no, let me rephrase that!) HOT cowboys would NOT be bad at all. Who knows and he is the one and I’ll have to buy the super expensive boots to live my cowboy life. LOL

SixFlags Saturday!

2010-03-15T03:29:00.002Z

5:00 am-wake up

6:30 am-On our way to SixFlags Over Texas in Arlington Texas, mind you is almost a 4hr. drive.

10:20 or so am-We almost crash, my heart stopped for a second and felt we where not going to make it! I would not be here posting about it. It was crazy, a car in front of us was changing lanes back and forth, well we hit traffic and that same car got right in front of us so fast my friend who was driving almost crash behind it, the tires even made that noise that makes you thinks there is no way we are going to make it. Fortunately the stupid car was smart enough to predict his ignorance was about to commit an accident. So... he moved to the shoulder. There was four of us in the tiny Chevy Cobalt that gladly had really good brakes. We where speechless, in shock. We could even see the park from there and to think we where so close!

But we are ALL good and kept driving then we notice the road was blocked do to unknown circumstances. So we had to drive across the freeway into the grass and to the other side. It was loco, what I am most surprised though is that the car was able to complete all the given maneuvers of survival. LOL

10:30 am-We arrived at the park, ready for a long day. We got in pretty much all the big one and OMGosh! It was so much fun. Except the long lines and the waiting. Much it was great none the less.

(Don't ask me who that lady is, I have NO clue!!!)

8:30 p.m.-We left the park after a much disappointing Cold Stone ice cream. :( and we had a long drive after that.

1:00 we finally got home and ready for sunday.

Finally here in bed listening to Hilary Weeks and really hoping God helps me get through this one. As usual, I have faith but sometimes is hard to believe there will be a happy ending in my life.

Tomorrow Monday :) The Rodeo awaits me and the HOT, HOT, HOT cowboys!!! LOL and guess who else???

LADY ANTEBELLUM

By the way... !

Happy Pi Day!!

Pi, Greek letter π, is the symbol for the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Pi Day is celebrated by math enthusiasts around the world on March 14th. Pi = 3.1415926535…

I am not to much of an enthusiastic, but... Oh well! :)

Time

2010-03-11T02:36:00.000Z

is running! AGAIN. So many things I have to do before the changes ahead. I do feel A LOT better but I doubt, so much. I don't trust myself, I don't trust what's happening, I doubt my feelings. Maybe I shouldn't, Maybe I should just let is roll. I guess I am just afraid. Sometimes I feel like I am no one and that all he feels for me is pity, I am always wondering. Like Mika sings: This is the hardest story. No hope, No Glory, No Happy Ending.
Time runs, we tend to run with it. Things change for better or for worst. But I am still here, waiting. So I guess I also have to quote Lifehouse. Cause today I am here with a broken heart that still beating and barely hanging on to him.

SPRING IS HERE!!!

P.S. I need a job! :) LOL

Sunday Night

2010-03-08T05:09:00.000Z

Finally laying in bed and thinking about life mishaps. I am back. Missing my family in Guatemala like crazy. My Grandma is the sweetest, funniest, caring, most wonderful lady in my life (My mom too! LOL) I really haven't cry for her, till Thursday night when I was leaving her. I could not stop crying thinking she is so sick and I am here, unable to give her what she needs. Is not like I can ask for her to get better, because I know she wont get better. I feel like the two people I love the most at this moment are slipping from my hands and it does not matter what I do, they are still going to leave me. I have them there, they love me (Well... I know at least she does, I'm not sure what he calls it), they want the best for me, but they are leaving in a way. I cannot lie to myself. I want my reality to finally be better than my fantasies. My heart aches for both of them, I want peace and happiness for them. She told me she would try to hold on, for me. That she loved me so much she didn't want me to leave. She told me I was her favorite grandchild :), all the memories, all the poems. I am who I am because of her (and my parents of course!). I Love her so much and today my heart not only aches for him but for her too. Today I feel like I have to learn to accept it.

Good Night, lets pray.

Guatemala update #1

2010-03-04T18:45:00.000Z

Daily Notes...

Saturday morning I was in Guatemala, finaly after so much waiting. I enjoy coming here before a Saturday, waking up to Saturday market is the best thing on earth! The day started with me kissing my lovely grandma. Getting ready for the day and driving off in the crazy traffic madness of Guatemala city! I cannot tell you how many times I forgot to breath cause I was so scared we would crash. But my uncle is an expert in moving thru it, so away to El Mercadito we where! Today my stomach feel a bit upset BUT it was all worth it. The freshness you feel in a market like this. Is a one street market full of food, fruits, and veggies that fill the baskets with colorful flavours. I wish I had my camera so I could have capture my feelings in a picture. Kids running around. Some dirty some dirtier, but cute.

For a minute I stoped and stared (I tend to do that, I just kind of space out!) things so simple as kids running, fresh smelly markets, people screaming out the great prices they have in their little tents and offering you the best deals make me happy! I ate everything I could possibly think of. Shaved Ice with lemon and salt (sounds gross, I know, but is actually delish!) Green mangos with lemon and salt. Strawberry ice cream in a plastic bag. Fruits. Nuts. Guatemalan candies and more!!! I know, pig you might be thinking, but it was not much I promise, it only sounds like it. I just love the simpleness of it all. Then we went out shopping so we could have stuff in the house and a few other things to take back home. The rest of the evening was spent with my grandma, my step grandfather, his brother and my uncle. Lerning other languages, tongtwisters, crossword puzzling, sudoku, making fun of stupid insignificant stuff (like my family tends to do, and I found out my grandma is just like me when it comes to that) and remembering how weird of a kid I was and the things I just to do, like eating worms, climbing the hall wall, having weird thums, and how I was always intriged but my grandmas old thing and how I aways though she had hidden treasures somewhere in the house. I love them all. They are all so sweet and funny, smart, and weird like me. End of day one and my thoughts.

Now is Monday and I find my self updating info and adding more. Sunday we went to church and saw a few friends, later that afternoon my cousins came around to the house and had dinner with us. I do get tired of getting questioned about life and things I am doing or things I am not doing! I should just wear a t-shirt and say 'find your answer here!' (really, they ALL ask the same stuff).

Today we spend it with my grandma (she is the priority in this trip) and now I am in bed ready for another long day tomorrow! :) hope you are all having an awesome week!

Some how I can't figure this out and I can't post from my phone! So I'll go on to write about today Tuesday, we woke up at 5:30 in the morning to be in 'El Pedregal' (this breakfast place I've gone since I was little) the drive as usual crazy but it was yummy on my tummy! By 9 breakfast was over and we went to Iximche (land of the corn from the post-classic Mayan time) we walk till it got boring but we got to show my brother in law where my dad was born. We headed down to visit some family and then back to the capital (my grandmas house where pretty much all the girl cousins got together (maybe about 13 girls in the house) so we order pizza and hang and talk for hours. Day is over again and trying to figure how to put this up. Wensday has come and gone and I can't figure this out. Today was a long day. Antigua was on first and of course breakfast. The a quick walk thru the streets and we headed to 'La cabana Suiza' is really cute restaurant that I have gone to since I was a kid and that brings a LOT of memories! :) after we headed down to visit a doctor that made Diego a reality (long story) anywho, after that we went to visit my grandpas brother and his wife so at least they could meet Diego. My grandma was next, so we had a little dinner with her and headed back to the hotel where we would meet our cousin and her cute daughter. My aunt came too. This day, like I said, was way too long but we got to be with family! :) goodnight and tomorrow I'll make sure I get this online.

Guatemala HERE we come!!!

2010-02-26T17:00:00.000Z

Ok dear blog peep's I am going to my darling country to share some time with my beautiful family. I am not sure what we are doing but ill try to keep you posted. All I know is that tomorrow I’ll be getting dippers and food for baby Diego. I really can’t wait for my family to meet his cuteness! Cause he is! Ill be gone for a week, so if you want something let me know!

This week has gone by pretty fast and a lot of things are happening. I am not as sad as I have been and things are way better, but still. I am pretty impatient and all I want is him. I hope the skies clear and things get on their way and hopefully someday fantasy unites with reality and there will be no more waiting.

All I can say is that this week I have smiled more than last and my emptiness is not so much there anymore. It’s amazing how much the people you love can help. I hope it helps him too.

Sayonara, have a great week, I love you all.

Thoughts

2010-02-23T16:22:00.004Z

In life there is reality and fantasy. Dreams and hopes. We strive to be who we want to become based on what I have mentioned before. Reality is constantly telling us that your fantasies, dreams and hopes can be impossible. Truth is that if we don’t fight we will never be. Sometimes we have to kick reality in the face and say: Today is the day you are gone. Sure, reality is essential but we truly have to seek for that, which makes us whole.

Yesterday while I was reading NieNie and thinking how much I admire her. I though about the wife and mother I want to become.
I CAN NOT WAIT to get married. I want to be a crazy, loving, caring wife. I want to LOVE my husband like crazy and make him the happiest man every day. I want to cook for him and bake. So I want my kitchen to be amazing! :) I want to make small things every day to make sure he feels adore! :) Like he can’t wait to get home. BUT... I want him to love me like Gerard Butler! LOL you know? Like in P.S I love you or the movie 300? That type of love, that he loves so much that he will fight the world so we can be together. Or Patrick Dempsey like in Grey's Anatomy (Mc. Dreamy). Or like Ryan Gosling in the Notebook.

And I CAN NOT WAIT to be a wonderful mother who sits with her kids and makes them treats, Who reads them stories, who dances around with them in the living room, who lays down on the park and shows them the beauties of this world. Who makes them feel like life is all about being happy and unique regardless of what other people think. I don’t want a big house a small one will do just fine. I don’t care about Luxury all I care about is feeling cozy at my own home. I CAN NOT WAIT to be married to the man I love. So please, if you are out there come to me soon. I am very impatient.

Oh I never came around to say:
SHAUN WHITE you are FREAKING AMAZING!

Little Happiness

2010-02-19T16:02:00.000Z

Since my brother left his Xbox at home and he already has his Playstation 3 and took it with him, not to mention he gave the Wii to my sister, I will be taking the Xbox with me! :) Yay for joy!!! This will be my little move in treat! :)

Because remember how I want to become a DJ??? LOL

Mango 101

2010-02-18T21:03:00.002Z

1. I love to eat frozen berries.
2. Different cultures fascinate me.
3. I can spend hours watching movies.
4. The Office cracks me up.
5. My family means the world to me.
6. I am VERY impatient.
7. Love chocolate cover strawberries.
8. Huge pet peeve: people who can’t drive.
9. Smart guys are my weakness.
10. I want to be a snowboarder.
11. Amelie is my favorite movie (I connect with her in a way)
12. I can’t eat my meat if it’s not Extremely WELL DONE.
13. I tend to smile/laugh at stupid insignificant stuff all the time, people don’t get it.
14. I have a really hard time replying to emails, I am just lazy like that.
15. If I could be an animal I would want to be a Grizzly Bear.
16. I dream on spending my honey moon in Venice.
17. I don’t think online dating will ever work for me.
18. I love orange juice or cranberry juice with lots of ice.
19. Water is my favorite drink.
20. Stupid people make me upset.
21. I tend to be too analytical.
22. Fast, Fast, Fats is how I like to drive.
23. Reading is the most amazing way to escape from reality.
24. I daydream ALL the time.
25. I find beauty in the simplest things in nature.
26. Watching humans are the most fascinating thing.
27. There’s a huge kid within me that tends to come out, pretty much every hour of the hour.
28. I believe LOVE is the most wonderful thing.
29. I cant talk about UFO’s it gives the heebie-jeebies.
30. I love the word ‘Freak’ and any word coming from it. (Freaking, freakishly, etc.)
31. I don’t care if I have to live in a cave as long as I am with the man I love.
32. I love TECHNO.
33. I wish I had blue eyes.
34. Random and Weird people are the best!
35. A walk in the park is the most refreshing thing.
36. I love London.
37. I don’t like fish.
38. I love veggies.
39. Soy vanilla milk is amazing.
40. Ice cream and chocolate are by far my favorite treat.
41. Music is my therapy
42. Clothes are my weakness.
43. Insect’s make my skin crawl.
44. I fell from a tree when I was 7.
45. I love to be LDS.
46. God and Family are my strength.
47. I love my Iphone.
48. I like to watch the moon every night and think that the people I love are watching it too and in some weird way we connect.
49. I Love him too much.
50. I love my nephew like crazy and can’t wait till I have my own.
51. I want to be a professional DJ (I can be something like DJ mango!)
52. Mango is my favorite fruit, along with Watermelon and Berries.
53. Guatemalan food is amazing.
54. I don’t like Chinese or Mexican Food.
55. I am the worst friend, I never keep in touch.
56. I love to travel.
57. I want to learn to speak Japanese, German, Greek, Italian (of course) and many more.
58. Sometimes I wish for the perfect body, but since I am too lazy to exercise I can’t complain.
59. If I could choose where to live, I would love to live in Europe (Anywhere is good for me!)
60. I like Anime, anything from Hayao Miyazaki.
61. My neck hurts 99.99% of the time.
62. I love to take baths.
63. My bed, the bath and my car are my comfort zone.
64. I hate to give up on things.
65. I am pretty picky when it comes to food.
66. I love to be surprise.
67. I love the unexpected.
68. Ghosts fascinate me.
69. I can watch the travel channel and discovery channel all day.
70. I think Samantha Brown has the best job on earth. I would kill to have it! (She inspired me to travel the world)
71. Sarah Richardson is the best interior designer. (She inspire me to become one)
72. I will like to go to Dubai some day.
73. People, who deny the truth, deny themselves.
74. I love Nature.
75. I don’t like salads, only if it has lemon and salt, well ANYTHING that has Lemon and Salt is Perfecto...
76. Bungee Jumping sounds bueno.
77. I blog stalk.
78. I strive for honesty, so… don’t bother in befriending me if you can’t be honest with me.
79. Coke Zero, WOW.
80. Foreign movies make me happy.
81. I love kids.
82. Love Italian food.
83. I never park next to old cars or cars that cant park, I am afraid they will hit mine.
84. My life is like a soap opera, where the two main characters should be together but one makes a mistake, then other makes one too and it makes it more difficult to be together, so it just drags. I hope mine has a happy ending. At least I am the main character in the story.
85. Disney movies and cartoons make me happy!
86. I am all about contemporary stuff and some vintage.
87. Orange, yellow and green are my favorite colors.
88. I love my friends.
89. I am so indecisive
90. I can’t wait to be loved like crazy and love the same way back till the sunrise!
91. I get bored easily.
92. I hate talking on the phone, with a few exceptions. (*wink**wink*)
93. My fav number is 9.
94. I want to learn to play cello
95. Hamburgers have to be plain.
96. I believe lettuce should not be warm when you eat it.
97. I hate people that burp; it makes me want to puke.
98. I think hiccups are the funniest thing.
99. I always think that I am going to die from brain cancer or something like that.
100. I think way too much.
101. I feel like dying if my car gets scratched.

Finito no more!!! Ah it’s been hard.

Desperate Co.worker!

2010-02-17T23:01:00.000Z

OK, my co-worker/friend has this idea that if she finds me a boyfriend I will stay in Texas. LOL So, now everywhere we go or anyone she talks to, she goes along these lines:

- So, how old are you?
- Lidia you are 24? Right?

- So, are you single?
- Lidia, how about that? He is single and cute! :)

- She is single too!

And I just turn red. I kick her in the knee! LOL not all the time but OMGosh! She is trying to find me someone!

LOL Like that will make me stay here! :)

The Bachelor and Snowboarding!!!

2010-02-16T18:58:00.000Z

Oh How I hated Jake yesterday! He let Gia go! :( I know probably she wasn’t the best match, but come one, to pick Vienna over her? That is just NOT right! I am sad for Ali wanting to come back, but at the end I think she made the right choice. He is crazy if he ends up with Vienna. I WILL NEVER EVER watch the Bachelor AGAIN. LOL

Now, Snowboarding cross… Uh la la! Oh, AMERICA rocks. I love to watch them.

So basically yesterday was all about TV and more TV. Don’t judge! I don’t have a life.

What a weekend!

2010-02-15T22:46:00.001Z

Well... Good Day Blog.

Where to start the events of this weekend???

Oh yea! RIP to 21-year-old Georgian athlete Nodar Kumaritashvili. It was Tragic and even more tragic to see his death!
Kudos to Hannah Kearney you rock on freestyle Skiing. She is only 23 and she was amazing.
Today I can’t wait to see the snowboarding competition. :) (Have I ever mentioned that apart from wanting to be a professional DJ I want to be a professional Snowboarder? I think I still have time!)

You gotta love the winter Olympics.

My family and I headed to Dallas and had so much fun with my sister, baby Diego and Jeremy. There was snow in Dallas so it was cold and beautiful.

Already getting thing together, applying for my old job. Guatemala is just around the corner and can’t wait to se my family down there before I head to SLC.

Today while I was getting my resume together I was looking for the best contact number at my old university in London. I worked at the library for a few months and I wanted to put some info down. So while I was looking at the web-site I found something that shocked me. LOL If you scroll all the way down you will find an article that says latest news 'Spring 07' (mind you, LATEST NEWS, ha ha ha!)

Read it here! I am in it! Ha ha ha! Oh time! :)

On a side note,
The man I love, once told me that when he came across this he felt like in some way it was like him and I. And I cried so much when I read it. I still do. But, what I forgot to see is that even though Joseph Smith forgave W.W. Phelps, He still died. So...
I forgive him. I do. It just hurts.

My manager

2010-02-12T17:31:00.000Z

Has the heart of a rock! LOL but deep down, he has a heart of gold! :) He truly cares about people even though he appears harsh! :) He has become not only the greatest manager ever but a great friend too. He has helped me so much. From having a day off to boy problems and that makes him the best! :)

Why do I blog about him today? Well he knew we don’t have anyone for Valentine's Day and that we where not going to get anything. Well, all this week he has been making fun of how we are crying over guys and we have no one for Sunday! LOL but today he surprised us with this:

And he said: I will be your Valentine! :) How Sweet is that? He is so fun!

I FOUND my Wedding Song!!!

2010-02-11T15:42:00.002Z

GO HERE

I love the Lyrics. My Future Husband should feel lucky and so will I!!!

Verse 1:
Everybody keeps telling me I'm such a lucky man,
Looking at you standing there I know I am.
Barefooted beauty with eyes that blue, sunshine sure looks good on you, I swear.

Oh I can't believe I finally found ya baby,
Happy ever after after all this time.
Oh there's gonna be some ups and downs,
But with you to wrap my arms around, I'm fine.

Chorus:
So baby hold on tight, and don't let go.
Hold on to the love we're making,
Cause baby when the ground starts shaking you gotta know,
When you got a good thing.

Verse 2:
You know you keep on bringing out the best in me,
And I need you now even more than the air I breathe.

You can make me laugh when I wanna cry,
This will last forever I just know. I know.

Chorus:
So baby hold on tight, and don't let go.
Hold on to the love we're making,
Cause baby when the ground starts shaking you gotta know,
When you got a good thing.

Bridge:
We got a good thing baby, woah.

So hold on tight, baby don't let go.
Hold on to the love we're making,
Cause baby when the ground starts shaking you gotta know,
Oh you gotta know, oh you gotta know, you gotta know,
When you got a good thing.

Ooooh ohh ohh.

We got a good thing, baby,

Woah oh oh

O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

2010-02-10T19:22:00.001Z

Is so hard to not have him and to think he doesn’t want me. I wanna be there if he needs me, I wanna be there for everything! But he doesn’t understand and he doesn’t care so... I just have to accept it!
He needs my help and I am not enough. I can't do anything. :'(
I think he is selfish. He doesn’t care about me. Uh how I wish I had the guts to speak out and tell him all I feel. If he would only feel how I feel, then we wouldn’t be so alone.

I should wear something like this for Stupid Valentine's! Can you believe I have never had a Valentine!?LAME

P.S. I think I am also selfih.

P.P.S. I LOVE HIM

P.P.P.S. I Know I shoulnt.

We got it!

2010-02-09T23:11:00.000Z

Ok, so we officially have a place to live! :) I trust my future roommate’s judgment that the place will be totally awesome! :)
Now, all I need is a Job. Crossing my fingers I get the one I already apply for. So... If any of you know of any, then... Let me know!
Nothing exiting today, just my boring old life!
Well, my first phone interview for a job up there! Uh Utah, how I miss you! Well be seeing each other soon! Anyone wanna come down here and ride with me!?

ROADTRIP!

Have you ever seen

2010-02-08T16:32:00.001Z

Death Becomes Her?

Well is a really dumb movie. I watched it a long time ago. Is about this too ladies who drink a potion so they can stay young and beautiful forever. I can remember why they fight so much or why they want to kill each other, I think is because a guy or something. Anyways, because they try to kill each other, they start to deteriorate. So they start finding ways to fix their body. They use tons of makeup and skin color spray cans. LOL is really dumb and funny at the same time.

Now, you might be asking yourself, why I am talking about this old movie. Well... This morning while I was driving to work (mind you, I drive a freaking hour to get there; I have plenty of time to think about random crap like this!) I felt like them. LOL is like everything inside is deteriorating because I am so sad and its starting to show on my face. So, the makeup covers all of it. And THEN, I remembered this movie. LOL and said OMGosh! I totally feel like them. LOL I know. It’s stupid, but funny! At least I laughed, when I came across this though! LOL I still do.

I was reading nienie's article in Wasatch Woman Magazine and she said something that I def have to quote. Because, I constantly feel like that.

I know, I am not her and the pain she feels is greater that anything I am experiencing at the moment. But is how I feel and think so...

"I hate pain, I hate being down and out. I hate having to spend hours to get better. I just want to be made whole right now. With no complications or problems. I am so impatient".-NieNie.

I can wait for this pain to go away and be made whole again.

It could not be more accurate!

2010-02-06T16:02:00.002Z

LIFEHOUSE

"Broken"

The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though i still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
With a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain, there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on, I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you

The broken locks were a warning you got inside my head
I tried my best to be guarded, I'm an open book instead
I still see your reflection inside of my eyes
That are looking for a purpose, they're still looking for life

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain (in the pain), is there healing
In your name (in your name) I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin')
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK

The broken lights on the freeway left me here alone
I may have lost my way now, haven't forgotten my way home

I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain(In the pain) there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you

I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'), I'm holdin' on (I'm still holdin'),
I'm barely holdin' on to you

Week Events

2010-02-04T21:04:00.000Z

My dear brother is here :) and *drum rolls**drum rolls* he will be station in San Diego, CA. Whoop Whoop! He is not going to freaking Japan, thank Goodness! :) (Although, it would have been so awesome to visit him there!). BUT, he is not going to Iraq or Afghanistan or anywhere close to there. So that makes my broken heart happy! He will be here for two weeks and then he'll be headed to CA.

Shelly (AKA Shellina Cluffinger) is in Town from SLC and I am glad Ill get to see her at least for a day, before is my turn to be there!

Although a bit too late, Baby Diego got his blessing on Jan.31.2010.

So far the week is being filled with joy, I get to be with people I love and get to smile when I constantly forget how to.

Because lately I have been feeling like Debbie Freaking Downer and all I think about is how I over analyze things and how this affects my daily life. All I can think about is him, and how he never cared and how he goes about his life and doesn’t even think about the pain he has greatly caused me. I know. I have to admit that I was the one who pushed him away, but don’t you think that if he truly cares about me he would try to contact me regardless. At least to let me know that he cares even if he cant be with me! Because is not fair to love someone, I mean, truly love them, and being told they care about you and then dump you! Like you are worthless. Because they get to live their life, while you are crushed. Is not fair.

And I am truly sorry to keep talking about this and I apologize in advance, because ill keep talking about this. Till I get over it. Till I stop.

But, How do I stop caring, how do I heal a broken heart??? How, How, HOW??? I am talking about the man I love, the one who I want to marry, the one who I can see myself getting old with! SAD.

I just hate him! Because he doesn’t care. So why should I.

OK, so...

2010-02-03T23:36:00.001Z

I've decided I might post everyday! :) LOL yea right, now that I am saying this I might not! :) We'll see. I mean, is good to keep track of things that I feel, I think, and wanna share, I know... Probably no one looks at this thing, that’s why, in a way, is better for me to let go of my thoughts thru here!

Ya know? Someone random may find my blog and learn something from it! LOL yea, right! :)

So you know what I was thinking? Don’t you think most songs now are pretty depressing? They all are about losing love. I should change the name of this blog to "Breaking up with Love" or I should make a NEW one so we can all post about this!!! LOL I don’t know. We’ll see.

Can't wait

2010-02-03T03:54:00.000Z

For, This:

to become, this:

...

2010-02-01T17:23:00.000Z

Life moves on, whether we act as cowards or heroes. Life has no other discipline to impose, if we would but realize it, than to accept life unquestioningly. Everything we shut our eyes to, everything we run away from, everything we deny, denigrate or despise, serves to defeat us in the end. What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy and strength, if faced with an open mind. Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such. -Henry Miller

Shakespeare-
"Doubt that the sun doth move, doubt truth to be a liar, but never doubt I love". -
"But love is blind, and lovers cannot see".
"Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt". -
"The course of true love never did run smooth". -
"Everyone can master a grief but he that has it". -
"Journeys end in lovers meeting".

One month down...

2010-02-01T16:24:00.000Z

And a life time to go (till I learn to get over it!). Isn’t this blog depressing??? All I talk about is how I hurt. But I guess is like my therapy. Every night I pray and I pray till I fall asleep. Because if I don’t, then... I think about him. LOL I still think about him while I am praying. The only difference is that when I pray I don’t hate him or want him with me. I pray for a way out. I was so close. Oh! So close in forgetting him. He comes back in my life and paints this lovely picture and like a kid I believed him. Then he hurts me and walks away. But I deserve it! I truly do. For thinking love conquers all. That in love everything is possible. Lie, Lie, Lie... Love doesn’t do crap except hurt you. Obligation is bigger. You HAVE to do this, you HAVE to do that. Blah blah blah. I feel bad for her, she is living a lie. I feel bad for him. He is living a lie. All I truly hope is that, the lie they are both living doesn’t affect anyone else. Like it hurt me. I haven’t heard anything from him at all. Not even an ‘I am sorry I came back into your life and smashed your heart’. NOTHING. So I hurt everyday. They slowly drag. A few days ago for the 1st time, I hated him, so bad, I wanted the worst for him. I hated him. I was so mad. All the broken promises. All the lies. I cried in anger. I am not an evil person, I don’t hate anyone (well I did, once, when I was in college, uh this girl. But I promise she has been the only one. NO. Wait I think there's one more. This kid in middle school, uh I hated his guts! But he hated me too. LOL now we are FB buddies! And I don’t even hate that other girl anymore!) So... It hurts me I don’t have him, It hurts me when I think of him (24/7), It hurts me when I hate him, It hurts me when I don’t want to hate him. But it hurts me more the fact that I love him so much and I have to let it go.
BUT... I am moving soon so... who knows maybe ill find me a hottie up there in the wonderfulness of my fav city!
So anyone wanna go out in a date with me??? LOL

Grief.

2010-01-29T17:24:00.005Z

So today I was listening to the radio, a very familiar story was told, in a very familiar situation. This person was in love with a girl who was getting married to a man she didn't love, all because she's been push by family and society, because he is a better catch than the man she loves. The wedding is this weekend. This person called to get advice, as what to do. A lot of people called in to give their opinion. I teared, because in a way, it felt like they where talking to me, like they where talking to him. I could not believe that more people than what I though have gone and are going thru the same thing as I have. We mortals are so common . We all deal with the same thing. History repeats over and over again. All because we don't have the balls to actually fight for what we believe is right!
We have to be strong and fight to be stronger in those times when we feel the world is on us.

Have you ever seen Grey's Anatomy and felt like it was talking to you? Well I constantly do. Let me share this with you:

Grief may be a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone.

It isn't just death we have to grieve. It's life. It's loss. It's change.

And when we wonder why it has to suck so much sometimes, has to hurt so bad. The thing we gotta try to remember is that it can turn on a dime.

That's how you stay alive. When it hurts so much you can't breathe, that's how you survive. By remembering that one day, somehow, impossibly, you won't feel this way. It won't hurt this much.

Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, the best anyone can do, is try for honesty.

The really crappy thing, the very worst part of grief is that you can't control it. The best we can do is try to let ourselves feel it when it comes. And let it go when we can.

The very worst part is that the minute you think you're past it, it starts all over again. And always, every time, it takes your breath away.

There are five stages of grief. They look different on all of us, but there are always five.Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance.

Finally this.

So lets just grief till we have to and then... MOVE ON.

Somethimes...

2010-01-26T19:01:00.003Z

I think my life is hard, that the pain I feel is incredible and that no one feels the same. Sometimes I wish numbness. I think, why me? why this pain? why did you let this happen? Why, why, why and will this ever end?
And then, I come across something like this and I cry... and then, I am grateful.
Even the best people, the ones who we think don't deserve it, even them, hurt. Just like me. It does not matter, we all suffer regardless if we deserve it or not. So we have to find a way to look at the "Bigger" picture! :)

Bye Bye 2009!!!

2010-01-07T22:54:00.008Z

I am about 25 days late, to tell 2009 you freaking sucked!!! Well... Not really! :) I guess I am taking it too far by saying that, but some times I think you did!

It was a hard year but a fun one none the less.

- I got to go to Guatemala, Utah, San Diego and Dallas (Like a bunch of times).

- I got to be with my family

-Baby Diego was born! the most wonderful addition to this crazy family!

- I had weird stuff happen to me

- I got to spend money! LOL you know! living with the parental units, lets you spend all that possible rent money! :)

- Got to experience LOVE all over again

- Got My heartbroken ALL over again. :) (Keeping a positive attitude)

- Snow in Texas

- Working on Fixing my credit! :)

- Saying goodbye to my lovely Jeep Liberty :'( I honestly cried when I had to leave it. It felt like I was living part of who I was! so I did, I did cry! :( and I still miss it very much...

BUT...

2010 Started with good things! So... Ill leave the past in the past and look forward to a brand new year full of mysteries and adventures.

Nickelback-If today was your last day! Might be the one for me, hence the rhythm!

2009-12-02T13:19:00.004Z

my best friend gave me the best advice

he said each day's a gift & not a given right
leave no stone unturned
leave your fears behind
& try to take the path less travelled by
that first step you take is the longest stride

if today was your last day
& tomorrow was too late
could you say goodbye to yesterday?
would you live each moment like your last?
leave old pictures in the past?
donate every dime you had?
if today was your last day

against the grain should be a way of life
what's worth the price is always worth the fight
every second counts 'cause
there's no second try
so live like you're never livin twice
don't take the free ride in your own life

if today was your last day
& tomorrow was too late
could you say goodbye to yesterday?
would you live each moment like your last?
leave old pictures in the past?
donate every dime you had?
would you call those friends you've never seen?
reminisce old memories?
would you forgive your enemies?
would you find that one your dreaming of?
swear up & down to God above
that you'll finally fall in love?
if today was your last day

if today was your last day
would you make it up by mending a broken heart
you know it's never too late
to shoot for the stars
regardless of who you are
so do whatever it takes
'cause you can't rewind
a moment in this life
let nothing stand in your way
cause the hands of time are never on your side

if today was your last day
& tomorrow was too late
could you say goodbye to yesterday?
would you live each moment like your last?
leave old pictures in the past?
donate every dime you had?
would you call those friends you've never seen?
reminisce old memories?
would you forgive your enemies?
would you find that one your dreaming of?
swear up & down to God above
that you'll finally fall in love?
if today was your last day

Thankfulness and such!

2009-12-02T01:26:00.002Z

(Baby Diego and Me!)

Oh turkey week full of events! Its been painful, joyful and fun.

Last week has been painful, that pain is still dragging and will still drag till I learn to get over it. Listening to depressing music does not help but it makes me feel better after I cry for just a bit. But things will change, I have high hopes that it will.

Last week has been joyful, my sister with her baby and brother in law drove down here and my bother flew here from North Carolina. We actually never told my parents he was coming, so we lied just a wee bit and told them I was going to Walgreen's when in reality I was going to the airport to pick him up! My padres were so mad with me cause I was taking for ever, ha ha ha! When I came back I told them I could not find anything open and then when I finally did they didn't have what I was looking for, BUT i had found someone at the store... and then my brother comes in, ha ha ha, it was so funny, my dad was in total shock he could not say a word and then my mum was holding the baby and she almost dropped him screaming and such! LOL they where so happy they started to cry! :) all in all we had a wonderful thanksgiving. The entire family was here enjoying each others company, even my brothers girlfriend came by and spent time with us, BUT in all of this, guess who was missing a partner??? you are right! ME. My mum with my dad. My sister with my brother in law and baby. My brother with his girlfriend. The dogs all together. Them ME.SIGLE.BOYFRIENDLESS.ALONE. for a moment I stopped and realized I was HALF. Regardless I did have an awesome time.

Last week was fun. On Friday there was a church dance and of course my bother made me go! I HATE church parties. I felt again HALF, because most of them had their certain someone and friend and more. Me? SIGLE.FRIENDLESS.ALONE. During the weekend we spent time at the Renaissance Festival and it was pretty darn awesome. Weird people everywhere dresses in medieval times. BUT all in all it was way fun. Except for my hair, I looked like a freaking lion. Mufasa, ragh! LOL Well that's pretty much it.

Thank yous:

-To God, why? After ALL I go thru? Simple, he gives me hope.

- Family, because they support me no matter what, they love and will love what I love and that's super dandy!

-Friends, near or far, you support me too. Regardless if we talk for a minute or hours. If we never talk or barely speak to each other. I LOVE YOU ALL.

-Love, because it has showed me that for this feeling I am willing to climb mountains, that love still lives with in me like fire, and has a passions that words can not even describe.

-My job, it might not be the greatest thing out there but it pays me to do absolutely nothing and have time to do what i want to do! I have a great manager and a co-worker that's now a few of my friends in Texas, I have learned so much from them, that makes me a better person.

-My padres House

-My car

-Cold Weather

-Being Safe

-Being Free

-HOPE

-Understanding

-so much more and finally I am grateful because my heart is not a rock (yet!)

Ahhh!

2009-11-24T22:14:00.004Z

I scream at the top of my lungs while I am driving, Does it help??? YES
I sing at the top of my lungs, while I drive, while a blow dry my hair, while I am at the shower, Does it help??? YES
I cry like a baby when I get mad, Does it help??? YES
I dream to much cause reality sucks, Does it help??? YES
I make I wish anytime I can, Does it Help??? YES
I love to drive fast, Does it help??? YES
I find happiness in life simple pleasures (the cherry on top of my cherrylimede, the curb I take at 50mph instead of 30mph, when i wake up and look at the mirror and find out i actually don't look that bad, the pumpkin spice smell in my car, etc. you get the pic!), Does it help??? YES
I love my family and I know they love me, Does it help??? YES
I go crazy and I get inspired by techno and classical music, Does it help??? YES
I never put my feet on the ground because earth sucks, Does it help??? YES
BUT...
Why after all of that wonderfulness my heart still aches? Because I do recognize I AM impatient, I do not have that virtue. I just want things to get fixed, I DO BELIEVE they can and that's why I try to calm myself with life pleasures!

Learning to let go!

2009-11-18T15:50:00.005Z

Joseph B. Wirthlin was by far one of my fav and will still be. I find inspiration in all he said. 'Come What May, and Love It'! what an extraordinary thought! The first thing we can do is learn to laugh. As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. As you may know I am going thru a really hard time in my life, where nothing seems possible! I try really hard to see the best in me but i can not. I try to be positive but gravity keeps dragging me down! I don't see a purpose on my daily emptiness and how I hurt! But when I remember this words, I see the light! I just have to let go! let go and free it!

I Must be Doing Something Wrong!

2009-11-09T21:41:00.002Z

Because 2009 has NOT being nice to me at all, and not only 2009 but the Big man up there! and like I said, I MUST def have done some bad in the world cause Karma is out to get me! It seems like my tears wont fix my problems, it seems like my feelings of needing to change wont fix it either. Then I wonder if I need to be perfect to deserve something good in life. My heart aches like there is no tomorrow and I have only me to blame. I love like I need that tomorrow in order to survive. It seems like what ever I do in life does not and will not bring me happiness. I am stuck, I have been stuck and I feel like I want to be somewhere else. Become someone else and finally understand why am I here. What do I have to do, in order to be seen, in order to be wanted. I just feel like I need a very long long run and just run only to exfoliate pain. Because if I just sit down my mind will only focus on how my heart suffers. Where are we going to find the strength to fight back, to be strong, to be happy and find the way. How can I find happiness if is denied. It's on restrictive access. The mirror tells me there is emptiness in my eyes.

Texts

2009-10-23T21:43:00.003+01:00

DIME BAG

Meaning:
Street name for a packet of illegal drugs that is sold for ten dollars
Classified under:
Nouns denoting man-made objects
Synonyms:
dime bag; dime
Hypernyms ("dime bag" is a kind of...):
deck (street name for a packet of illegal drugs)

Now let me tell you the story:

Yesterday around lunch time my friend Amy (from work) received a text message that said:

Random #: Do you deliver?

Amy: Clearly he has the wrong number, but my manager told her to play a prank on them, so she did! :)

Amy: What do you want to order?

Random #: A dime on Fairlake cove or a fifteen I am broke.

Us: What does that mean??? it makes no sense so...

Amy: What?

Random #: A quarter for fifteen

Us: Lets try to google it, so we did! we also asked a few people but after carefully studying the text messages we decided to google a dime and it come up as this! DIME BAG so we look at it and you can see that above. CLEARLY he wanted drugs, so...

AMY: Oh *BLEEP* I deliver Pizza!

Random #: Oh *BLEEP* is this Jesse?

Amy: No this is Joe!

LOL

600 Tamales!

2009-10-23T16:22:00.005+01:00

Ok, so yesterday night no one was at home, no one! just KOLATE of course! :) So... end of story.

Nah, well I called my mom to see where she was and she said she was making tamales! WHAT??? Tamales? Where? Donde? Why? so she the told me the story, there is this lady at her work, who apparently is her cousin from Guatemala (her grandma and my moms grandma where sisters! ahhh? yea!) well, she is sick an cant afford to pay all medical bills, so... all the friends from work got together and sold tamales. 600 tamales. WOW!!!so they can give some money to her. They have been making tamales since 15:00 and it was now 20:00 and they had 200 more to go. :( so... it touch my heart and i offered to help. I ended up with "masa" everywhere.

There where tamales there, there where tamales everywhere!!!

DREAM...

2009-10-22T22:53:00.004+01:00

http://www.thescooterlounge.com/stella1.html#buddyimage

FEEL super FREE to get it for me on Christmas!!! :) I want the 125.

The Past.

2009-10-06T16:25:00.004+01:00

I REALLY HAVE to get OVER IT!!! I though I did! The past is not pretty, well some is :), but I don't want it back. It hurts. not all of it, but one alone. 'HE' the one that send my heart down the darkest deepest hole. I DON'T want him in my present, is that really so much to ask? Part of me does, part of me is curious, part of me still thinks I want him. but is a tiny part. Because a huge part wants him OUT, a huge part does not care what he does anymore, a huge part of me wants to forget and finally start living love. We can only hope!

71° out

2009-09-29T15:57:00.006+01:00

And life is getting better! (Positive thinking is critical for a joyful life!) This morning I was driving to work and decided to drive with the windows down (mind you, in Houston you HAVE to use AirCon or else you die!) and it might have been one of the best decisions I have made on 2009. It was so fresh, cloudy sky, but no rain and quiet music. That's pretty much all I needed for a pleasing ride. While all of this wonderfulness was happening I decided to attempt a blog AGAIN. (after like months and months of not doing it, lets see how I keep up!) One of the reasons I stop was because I did have so much to blog about that I just got overwhelm with the idea of non stop writing! :) LAME I know!? but when English is your second language, it kind of is THAT BIG DEAL!!! so...

I will, eventually write about ALL of the things that have happened so far. Which puts things in a different perspective, you know? when I though I have done nothing on 2009? I think different now. Now that actually have to write about it and tell the world a bit of it. I would have saved a lot of this freaking sad time I have been waisting, thinking, I have done nothing this OX Year. Reality slap! IT has been my year, ALL of it! This year has been all about me! While I kept thinking 'I have done nothing' LIE while I though I was doing nothing, I was watching my favorite soap opera (next week is the last episode! bummer!) I was recording and watching a few of my favorite shows, I was spending time with my parents, I am having time and money to travel and buy stuff that I have wanted! I have been in my nephews birth. I got to be with my brother before he left for a change in his life. I have a dog (which i wanted bad) I have gone to Dallas, Guatemala, Utah, San Diego and Louisiana, meet wonderful people and the year is not over yet. and see? all of it is I,I,I, me, me, me!!! Shocker ha? but if I do put all of it in that view everything seems better than yesterday.

Kolatte

New US Marine

Baby Diego!

LIFE IS FILLED WITH SMALL AND FUN MOMENTS, LETS ENJOY!!!

P.S. I also got and awesome phone that just made MMS available, THAT there MADE an entire day worth it!

Back from the DEAD!!!

2009-07-20T16:05:00.003+01:00

Ok, So maybe I am not all the way back, but is coming along! :) Its been better. I don't know why it happens, but it comes. Is like i said, in those moments of loneliness and darkness that i tend to feel like this. But I fail to do the most important thing that i should do when something like this happens. That is, finding words of encouragement and looking on positive things instead of focusing on the bad. But is in times like this that we reconnect with our Heavenly Father (not that I completely have, because I still have fail to do thing that I should) But, I have a testimony that he is there no matter what, and that he some some how finds a way to let us know we are love and that life is worth living in the good and bad time! Thru scriptures, talks, random people, Letters, and most of all friends and family. I give thanks for all of that. I received a letter and a called from a couple of friends that really touch me. These girls are amazing friends, they cared enough to let me know I am loved and that I should be seeing all this wonderful thing others may see in me. Thank you so very much!
Is funny how a friends blog can lead you to another and another and well eventually find someone with a post that truly speaks to you, like the one i found with this talk from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin "One Step after Another". From this amazing talk I got a LOT but ill try to make this quote my motto. "We don’t have to be perfect today. We don’t have to be better than someone else. All we have to do is to be the very best we can."

Spiritually, emotionally and physically DEAD!!!

2009-07-15T16:09:00.002+01:00

So... today I have decided to write a post, not that i really wanted to, but... I guess we all go thru that moment in our life where we just feel like there is no purpose in life, that if we where to die today no one would care, yea family and friends would suffer just for a little while, but they would move on eventually. I am 24, single, not going to school, not buying a house, living with my padres and FAT. When ALL of this comes into my head I try to escape from my reality and disappear. So, I focus on my job and let hours, days and life go by, just to realize that the end of the year is right around the corner 2010 is almost here and that by this time next year ill be 25, probably and most likely single, probably not in school, for sure not buying a house, most likely living with me padres and as always FAT. My thoughts are overwhelming so i tend to step back. Sure i laugh, I live and love, but when it comes down to those times of me being alone ALL of this comes and I realize that I am not truly happy! :(
So I apologize if anyone has tried to get a hold of me and me just letting it slide. This is the reason why. I have lacked to do a lot of things, like going to church, praying, living, etc. I just feel DOWN. Bottom line? I guess I can do something about it.

LONG GONE!!!

2009-06-29T21:10:00.002+01:00

OK, so i guess if i keep putting it off, the more ill have to write later on, the more you'll have to read, the longer the post will be, the more boring is going to get! So... Here it is.
A few points ill get on eventually this week:
- Baby shower
- Guatemala
- My Hermano
- Utah
- and now.

So... lets begin. The baby shower was pretty neat i have never done one, but i got my chance and it turn out to be quite good. I did a lot of games and everyone was having fun. Food and Games in a nice atmosphere, but the best of all, was that she got tons of presents :) I cant wait for the baby to be here. 30 more days!!! (pics to come)

Guatemala was pretty fun, I love to be down there with my family (I love them so very much). There was a downer but it was still fun. I was so happy to be with two of my best amigas (Kaycee and Sam). we got there on Saturday evening and headed home for a goodnight sleep. Sunday May 24Th. MY BIRTHDAY!!! yea... not that amazing but I was with my loved ones and that changed the entire view of things and the disappointing cake! Monday we wake up semi-Earlie and got prepared for our long and sick trip to Lake Atitlan. The ride was freaking scary and the fact that we got lost did not help AT ALL. But, we found our way back and everything went pretty much smooth the rest of the way till he had to walk the tiny hill to get to our first hotel. Sam was LOL LOL LOL you would have to be there to see her face and see how she was. To bad I denied a Tuk Tuk, she would still be my friend by now! LOL (nah, we are still pretty good buddies! LOL). The hotel/cottage was wonderfully amazing minus the bugs on my bed that never was. Everything was so beautiful and peaceful, at the end of that first day we manage to build a kind of fire thing, have crazy fun on the bathtub and fit 2 people on a twin size bed. LOL I wish i had a video we made to post it! (right??? miss Victoria's Secret Beauty Rush Coconut Crest). Next day it was bargain/walking/buying/riding a boat that almost tip over/sucky hotel/boring hotel/ugly food/sick food/reserved days in advance/not able to do what we wanted to do/humid beds/avocado trees everywhere/ convict crazy lady living in Guatemala for taking care of a child that she promise to take care of, type of day. So... you do the math. :) The next day we where so freaking disappointed for that last half of the day we just wanted to get out that it turn out to be a fun/cant wait to get out/sick breakfast food with some old milk/walking up a mountain/Extreme cable/butterfly sanctuary/driving back and stopping in a really dusty shop to buy a wooden horse/cant wait to be home type of day.
Getting bored? me too! But i am almost done with this one Guatemala thingie and ill be done for today.
So by the next day i.e.Thu.28th. My amigas got sick :( so as a good friend i let them rest and I headed to do my stuff with out them :( *sniff* *sniff* It had been a year since my grandpa died so i headed to the cemetery and just stayed there for a bit. I then went to see one of best amigas too, she was on surgery so i had to wait and wait and wait till she was ready to actually recognize me. We got to talk and catch up on thing. I return home and what do I find??? My best amigas are heading back home! :( they left me!!! :( but all i really cared was for them to be good. We did a few things before taking them to the airport and then the day was over. Nothing much exciting happened after that. I got to see some of my uncles and cousins and went to some techno club. ALL in ALL it was family time. I love my grandma, my stepgranpa and my uncles and cousins who do care about me. (again ill try to post pics later) I am le tire.

Dragging!

2009-05-13T18:32:00.002+01:00

Ok, So I AM SO SORRY, for not blogging, seriously I have been wanting to do it cause I have some pictures and stories I been wanting to share with the few that follow this! :)

Anywho, Work has been pretty much the same, sometimes I get super bored, just because I work too fast and end up with nothing to do for the entire day! Hey, but I get paid, so... Who really cares! :) Guatemala is right around the corner and getting the feeling of OMGosh!!!

Cant wait to see me grandma! I just hope I have enough money to buy tons of treats to take back to them.

Now, as far as new thing in my life, well...

I got an IPhone, yay to that! :) So I love to take pics here and there and well I am following Kaycee's footsteps and cant contain myself to take random pics, Ill try to see if i can post some later. Also, can't wait for the new upgrade for the IPhone, because it makes me mad I cant send or receive MMS :( But the new upgrade should have lots of thing which will make it pretty darn sweet. Uh, and the apps are so neat, I downloaded the 'LDS Scriptures' and is awesome.

I started going to church again, its been a while and wow I need the spirit with me! So, I'll drive 30 min. to go to church every Sunday and I'll try to make it to most of my FHE's.

My sisters belly is getting big and her Baby Shower is this weekend. Lisa is getting married and it makes me so happy I can cry! because she deserves to be happy next to the love of her life! :) I just hope I can have that some day!

I few weekends ago I volunteer to help out with an International Festival and it turn out to be the most depressing thing ever! It rained all day and therefore no one came, but they still made me run back and forth looking for this freaking performer that I could not find anywhere, so around 2pm they let us go, because they suddenly felt that NO ONE was coming to a rainy Festival, I was soaking wet.

Like 2 weekend ago, it rained again, only, this time, was freaking scary, we got flooded and I could not even drive to work.

About 3 night ago around 1am one house in front of our house was burning and firefighters and cops from everywhere came to the rescue, so not a goodnight sleep. Mothers day was awesome, my mom loved her presents. Kolate is getting big and need to trim his nails. I went to the Rodeo and It was so fun to see how all people are created differently. Cowboys are extremely hot even if they are really ugly (Thank you Levi's). One day randomly driving around some random little town we found a random German Festival, where i bought a peasant hat and loved it! I look like a witch. Still don't have a boyfriend, nor a date, nor a boy that I might remotely like. Lastly, My Hermano is going to the Marines and it breaks my heart. The end. That should be good enough for today and 'IF' I can I'll post some pics, for the randomness of this post.

Drum Rolls!!!

2009-03-26T14:43:00.004Z

Pretty Cool!

2009-03-17T14:35:00.006Z

Alright, so my manager's wife is having a baby around the same week as my sister will and he gave me this website that my sister can go and blog about it (but... she wont do it) and since I am already doing it here, I was just looking around the website and found this cool calculation thingie:

Congratulations!

Your Due Date Is Monday, August 03, 2009
Your conception date was most likely Monday, November 10, 2008 You are in Week 21 of your pregnancy and your baby is 19 weeks old. Your Third Trimester will begin 5/4/2009 141 days down, 139 to go!

Fun Birthday Facts
If born on your due date, your baby's half birthday will be February 1
Your baby's birthstone will be Peridot or Jade (Married Happiness)
Your baby's Astrological Sign will be Leo
Your baby's Flower will be Gladiola or Poppy (Orange, Red and Light Green)
Your baby will be born in the Chinese Year of The Ox
This time next year your baby will be 33 Weeks Old!
Your baby will start kindergarten in 2014, be old enough to drive a car in 2025, finish high school in 2027, and will graduate from college with the class of 2031, give or take a year.

Can you imagine??? So, check this out: My dad was born in August 03 and I was born in the year of the OX, so basically that baby is going to be just like me! adorable!!!

Oh, and pretty soon we'll know what shes having, what do you think is going to be???

The need of a Camera when Spring has Sprung!

2009-03-13T19:57:00.006Z

Alright! So this might not be exciting for you, but it is for me! Why the need of a camera??? well, let me tell you that I have witness one of the most odd thing in my life (probably you've seen it before, but I have not, so give me a break!) A few days ago a notice that my car was covered in something that looked like dust, I didn't pay attention till I started noticing other cars, what was it?? Well, friends, it was... (roll drums!) Pollen!!! as the days went by the cars where covered in it! I couldn't believe it so i decided to take a picture of it,but since I am a slacker i didn't, well for my own Friday the 13th luck, it rained today! so the pollen is gone and washed away from my car, now I cant record this emotional event in my life! :(
Spring is here and with it mosquito's! so watch out!!! Oh, and flowers too! :) Enjoy Spring my amigos.Oh, by the way every time I think of spring, I think of the movie 'Secret Garden', don't you? I can picture the flowers blobbing super fast,the birds eating worms, Colin trying to walk like the baby lamb and Mary & Dickon running around with the song in the background, laaaaa la la la la laaaaaa la, laaaaa la, la la la, la, la la laaaaaa!!!

I say, Lets do it!!!

2009-03-06T15:22:00.004Z

Well as you know, I am a bit of an earth freak :) so to invite you to be kind of the same for a day, here you go...

Ten Things to Know About Earth Hour 2009
1. Earth Hour 2009 takes place on March 28, 2009 at 8:30 pm—local time.
2. The date was set in March because it is close to the Spring Equinox, a period when the most number of countries around the world will experience darkness in the 8 o’clock hour.
3. Earth Hour isn’t about how much energy is saved during one hour. The idea behind Earth Hour is that by working together, each one of us can make a difference on the issue of climate change. By doing something as simple as turning off the lights, we send a visual symbol to the world’s leaders that we are counting on them to work together to find solutions to climate change.
4. Earth Hour is a non-partisan event. When it comes to caring about the future of our planet, we all have a stake as citizens of the world regardless of other political beliefs and affiliations.
5. Earth Hour turns off non-essential lighting only. Lights necessary for public safety will not go out. Earth Hour has been conducted safely and without incident in more than 100 cities around the world.
6. Earth Hour is an inclusive event and everyone is invited to participate. WWF will provide tools online to enable any town, community, school, individual or organization to be part of the event.
7. WWF has designated a limited number of "flagship cities" in the US where it will devote resources to make sure the lights actually do go out. In 2009 those cities include: Atlanta, Chicago, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Miami, Nashville, Dallas, New York and San Francisco. In addition, WWF will be seeking the support of Washington DC and the federal government.
8. Many US cities will also participate as "supporting cities." To become an official supporting city, a proclamation or some type of official confirmation that the event is supported by the local governing body of that community must be sent to WWF.
9. More than 750 cities throughout the world have already agreed to participate in Earth Hour 2009.
10. World Wildlife Fund is the organization behind Earth Hour, but many other groups and NGOs are supporting Earth Hour in 2009.

Never always comes...

2009-02-19T21:14:00.004Z

The reason I say this, is because I have always said, I am so lucky I have "NEVER" been sick. well VIRUS proof me wrong! I have been at home for the past three says and left work early on Monday. All of this started on Friday and it has not yet ended. I have been sick for almost a week now and my body hurts so much, I don't stop having fever, I cant stop coughing and my nose is almost falling because of the stupid Kleenex I used. So all in all it has been a pretty darn bad week.
As far as the weekend goes thanks to Kaycee I forgot about all this. I believe we had tons of fun and I cant wait to head down to Guatemala. Friday we went to a club which was pretty fun because of the music, but the people made me sad. Saturday we went to Galveston to the Moody Gardens, but only the Aquarium was open, it wasn't all that bad but still I wanted to see the tropical rain forest! :( It was raining the entire was there and back. so Kaycee wasn't able to see the sea very well. Then something to make the day better happened... (Keep in mind it was still raining!!!) A bunch of Firefighters trucks were turning down a street and we where kind of worried that something really bad had happened, but oh no! It was Mardi Gras celebration, they were throwing beads everywhere and people where doing everything to get them, it was fun. Then at night we headed out to this Mexican place that was horrible, I am never going there again, unless I am the only one there with my family!
Sunday, (I know, I know) he went to San Antonio and walked around the river, walked to much to this market that seemed pretty close in the map, had the worst meal and service ever, in a place apparently called "Loan Star" but the ticket said Michelangelo's and walked around the Alamo. Kaycee would not stop making notes on her Ipod of how Texas sucks bad and she had to come up with good ones so it didn't seem all that bad. But now she knows why I always said I HATE Texas weather! We had fun, right Kaycee??? lol. Alright I am done.

Wonderful Addition!

2009-02-19T21:06:00.002Z

Since my sister is to lazy to actually right about her pregnancy, I though to myself, why not me??? Ill be like a mother to that baby as well! :) so I've decided to make this my little project, I have yet to decide to make a new page for the baby or simply add it into mine. I guess we'll see. As for right now, don't freak out that baby on the right hand side is not mine! (well kind of! :) is Magna's, my sister!)

Be positive!

2009-02-09T15:09:00.004Z

Ok, enough!!!
Ill try to see the positive side of things instead of ranting about it and blame the universe for it! Even though is hard because 'IT' hasn't stopped :(
Today I got in a car almost 'accident' and on Saturday morning my brother got IN a car accident!!! I would said Karma is out to get me, but I haven't done anything wrong, so why does this happened to me??? Is been pretty hard.
Going into details:
On Saturday my brother and his girlfriend where on a stop light when suddenly he heard a car trying to break, he looked at his rear view mirror and *BAM* right into his tinny Ford Focus, the then hit the car in front of him and *BAM* both sides of his car, smashed!!! My mom and I were at the Mall and my dad called us, so we had to hurry to the scene! Gladly he and his girlfriend were ok, but to add to the pile of the week the car is unusable! so will see what happens.
Now, me! So this morning a woke up with a good attitude and even left early to stop and get some gas, well I decided to take a new way to work which turn out to be the last thing I needed to do! I got to the fist stop to turn and tons of cars where trying to use the same way so just to get to the stop it took me about 15min. Ok I said to myself I still have time, take your time, then The other stop came and on my turn it was perfect, no cars to bug my turn, but since it had been raining the road was slippery and my moms car just slide (I HATE THAT CAR!!! it has giving me only problems!) anyways... I hit a barricade and that was it, I started crying like mad I didn't even wanted to move the car or get out or nothing I was just screaming inside, crying and tired of all of the BC I have had to put up with! when suddenly I head a knock on my window, it was a lady and she asked me if I was ok, if I was hurt or something, but my answer was 'NO' I am ok thank you! Then this car that was driving to fix the stop lights stop to help. At this point I was still on the car (I just couldn't believe that all of that was happening) He came to my door and he said do you think you can still drive it? I was like what??? How much damage did I do to the car??? He said well... not much. I had to get down to see it for myself. The thing I hit was completely dent but the car was just dent a bit from the side. Judging by the hit I seriously though I had made a huge thing to the car but I only broke a light and slightly dent the car bottom part the wheel is kind of scratching it but nothing that can't be fixed (Just trying to be positive) My padres don't know it yet and well... hope they don't get as depresses as I did!

Oddly Surprised!!!

2009-02-05T22:19:00.008Z

On how the week is going. Really! didn't expected that's for sure!!!
So here's how the week is so far:
I didn't die nor get fired, instead, my co-worker did! It was quite a shock to tell you the truth (still cant decided if that adds to my bad luck of the week) It was horrible! Just yesterday! She had been missing work a lot so my boss talked to her and told her that the decision was not on his hands that it was HR's and Upper management so she got fired and she got furious and started picking up her stuff while yelling and screaming! She left just like that, without saying bye or nothing! Mean while this mean lady calls trying to talk to her and I said she was not longer employed here and she said 'you are ... lying tell that ... to ... I want to ... she is such a ... and a ... you should do a ... ... to that ...!!! (I was like *blink* *blink* What the Deuce???) So yea, that's the story in a nutshell.
As far as my padres car's it was a bit of a miracle actually because when I got home no one said anything!!! :) (Trust me, my mom is a freak about scratches on the cars and my dad too!) So, with a lot of discretion I headed out at night to see the car, Oh miracle of the earth!!! The huge scratch that I had previously seen in the morning was gone! How that happen you might ask, well, lets ask our Heavenly Father on all my good acts of kindness and he will tell you I didn't deserved that kind of punishment and decided to erase that scratch! :) all in all the week hasn't turn that bad at all! I didn't died (well, almost, when reality kicked in and told me that I was new, by myself with tons to loans to do and there would be no help if i needed it!)

Those are what are called 'Life experiences'

2009-02-03T16:23:00.002Z

That's what my dad said Sunday 31st of January; When, for some odd reason my car broke down on a stop sign.
That's right my peeps! My car broke down. Not only on a stop sign, but on the most dodgy side of Waco, Texas.
Here's the hole story: Since my sister is pregnant and far away from us, we decided with my mom that every end of the month we would drive to Forth Worth to check on her belly! so we headed up there for the weekend, on Sunday afternoon it was time to say bye and head down to Houston, we had been driving for almost an hour and a half. when we had to take the exit so we could get on the Highway leading home, it was on that exit that the earth and my vehicle conspired against me. My mom, Kolatte and I were there, at night (mind you) and not a single soul to help out; when finally a lady and her husband with a good samaritan heart helped us out. The husband new a little bit about cars and somehow manage to turn on my car again and took us to the closest lit parking spot, which turn out to be quite great but still we could not see what else we could do to get home :( so my mom called my dad and told him what was happening, immediately he said ill be there (3hrs. worth of driving and waiting!). So my brother and my dad drove from Houston to Waco. It was so late we decided to stay there. The next morning we ended up towing my jeep (pics coming). I can tell you right now the week started stinking bad! Because today I was backing out to leave for work (with moms car) and scratched my dads truck! They don't know yet, and have no clue what I am going to say! So wish me better luck I might end up dying today or getting fired. Who knows! All I know, is that it was FAR (make it long) from being a life experience that will help me be better person! Blah!

I am Le'tired

2009-01-16T01:20:00.004Z

Ok I think i have blogged enough, so, ill resume everything that I have left. Although I wanted one special for me dog, but nah.. is Ok. Computer says nah! :)
I got my puppy on Dec31st. I named him Kolatte and he is a Chocolate Labrador Retriever :) he is 15 weeks old and they told me is going to be a pretty big dog! YAY!!!

I did get a job on the first week and now, I am a Loan Assistant for Crescent Bank and Trust based out of Louisiana, that's why I am here now. I been here for a week and I leave tomorrow (Friday).
As far as my life goes, just on Saturday I realized that I was here for good and reality finally got me :( All of this time since I left Salt Lake a part of me was still there, thinking that I was going to wake up and I was going to be on my so hated bed and in my room. Unfortunately I was there, laying on my bed, thinking this is what you have. I wish I was there still, this time, with my family and friend, we cannot have to glories at the same time, but ill try to make the best out of this one.
That day (Dec22nd) that i left I was dying, a part of me was left behind, I honestly felt that I was leaving something, someone, truly a part of me and that feeling remains.
Please forgive me if I haven't not contacted you, I lack a lot on that!

The Holidays

2009-01-16T01:07:00.003Z

Ok, so when I finally got to my sisters home all I wanted to do was drive back to the 'S'. But apparently I have to be here in the 'H'. Khristmas was good, not excellent. My parent where in Guatemala and my brother in law had to work on X-mas day, so... we went to bed early! but we were together and I guess that's all it matters :)
My parents came on Dec 31st. just on time to be with us for New Years, again it was not all that great but we are together.
We did some of our New Years superstitions and with it our wishes, instead of resolutions :) I guess I should come up with some, like Sam, and make myself 'JUST DO IT'
ill think about them.
'WELCOME 2009'

From S to the H

2009-01-16T00:54:00.003Z

I though I have been super freaked out other times, but oh no, boy was I wrong :)

This ride, was definitely a ride from down below :) The only thing that got through that ride, was the 'Reflections of Christ' CD (thank you Shellina) I was crying almost the entire day. All of it, was full and full with tons and tons of snow and all i could sing was 'I need Thee every hour'. It was a scary and long ride, I wish I was there to tell you, but since you know me, you can pretty much picture me telling you this. You know, with my hand gestures and all! :)

Goodbyes, Parties and Such...

2009-01-16T00:29:00.011Z

This is hard for me because is something that i was not planning at all, one day made the decision and I am wishing not to regret it! :(
But I could not ask for more, my life was blessed because i had the chance to meet wonderful angels.

Murray Christmas party was LOL, I was Jerome's date, therefore i had to sit by him :) everything was great (maybe not the Cat Lady) but I got to actually talk to Scott as a human being :) he is really cool :)
All in all, it was a amazing night! not counting Kaycee's car accident, that really scared me, but she was alright and miraculously her car too.
As far as my last day at work :( I just remember someone screaming at me, "have a nice life" and some warm goodbyes from two special ladies that where sad to see me go! so it made me feel special.

Jerome as always letting me down (but i forgive you :), because I care for you), but Shelley as always going the extra mile :) I loved all of the gifts they where perfect :)
As far as selling my bed, thanks to Kaycee, I was able to deliver with no problems at all! Except the moving of it, boy, that was hard, sorry kaycee :(

My hermano came in on Sunday morning and just like a kid, he was playing will all of the snow :)
An packing was all over me, way to much.

Goodbyes are hard, but they eventually come. Parties are fun, but they always come to an end. Such and such doesn't really mean anything, but life, is full of it! :)

Now that I'm HOME I can finally BLOG!

2009-01-16T00:15:00.003Z

Hey that kind of, maybe, possibly rhymes! :) Ok, no!!!
So, at the moment, I am not exactly home, I am in training in Alexandria, LA so...
There will be a few blogs about what you all have been missing since the moment i left my beloved UTAH :(
Things that I will blog about, eventually!
- Goodbyes :( Parties and such...
- My ride from there to here
- Christmas, my sister and New year's
- My Puppy, Ya!!!
- My new job
and, and, and an up date on my soul! :)
So far, everything seems pretty dandy, but i want to go back home! Ill do what ever it takes! :)
uh... Ill update with some pics as well! do you like it?

All I Need to Know about Life I Learned From a Snowman!

2008-12-18T15:52:00.002Z

Each one of us is unique.
When Snowflakes put together, the can have a ball.
You are nothing with out a creator.
It takes a few extra rolls to make a good midsection.
We're all made up of mostly water.
It's okay if you're a little bottom heavy.
Stand firm when the heat is on and you will last longer.
Don't get too much sun
Life is short make memories today
There's nothing better than a foul weather friend.
Smiles are contagious
The difference between a smile and a frown is a few lumps.
The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.
Even Frosty the snowman has a few bumpy bump bumps along the Road
Wearing white is always appropriate.
Winter is the best of the four seasons.
Snowman falls unassembled. It’s how you pull yourself together that counts.
You know you've made it when they write a song about you.
Accessorize! Accessorize! Accessorize!
Avoid yellow snow.
Give thanks to those sharing their mittens, scarves and hats.
Don’t be afraid to put on a hat, it just might be magic.
It's fun to hang out in your front yard.
Always put your best foot forward.
There's no stopping you once you're on a roll!!

R.I.P to my Nokia 5300

2008-12-12T20:59:00.002Z

Ok so this story is similar to Shelley's story, except this does not include the cat lady! :) This include only me and maybe Kaycee's text message! so I blame you! :) no, not really!
Ok lets begin, I was sitting down in my room watching TV eating pistachios and drinking a extra large cup of OJ, then I looked at my phone I had just received a text message, I picked it up and it just slided of my hands, seriously what are the chances of the phone landing on the cup??? In a full cup!!! I was about to die, I rushed to the kitchen and try to clean it the most i could, but it was impossible, all my files where lost and my contacts. Luckily my phone survived for one more night and I was able to transfer my contacts from phone to SIM card. but it DIE!!! and all I can think is that I love Nokia phones they have the best menu in the world. Now I am stuck with a Samsung phone that my brother gave me when he got here! but I am not too fond of it! Let see if I get use to it!

Its becoming real!

2008-12-10T06:09:00.004Z

What you may ask yourselves? This thing, this decision! in a matter of one day three things are gone from my life Job, House and Table! they are all gone and all i need to make this final is my bed (which by the way I have been trying to sell since for freaking ever!).
But yea, all in one day. Today I gave my to weeks notice, so my last day is Dec.19th.
I posted an ad in KSL to rent my room and today just today I got like 7 people wanting to see it, two became a dilemma to me and I had to call Lisa (Roomie) to see what was the best thing to do. Ok so one comes and checks out the room and tells me that is awesome, but she still has to check out another one, the other one calls me, I tell her the dealio and then she said I am going to see it right now and I am pretty sure ill like it, I am like, OK!!! then the first girls calls me and tell me she wants the room and that she is coming to leave the deposit, so I text the other girl apologizing for whats going on, then she texts me back and tell me I want the room ill give you 20 dollars more a month, I am like what the heck??? But since is not fair I said I am sorry she contacted me first. So the new roommate is called Kirsten and she looks really nice.
Now the table, they didn't pay me what i ask for (I think everything was planned out!!!) but they where newly weds and I was ok with it, their first table, ahhhhhhhh! cute! the came like at 10:30 and took the table, honestly I was impressed because I though there was no freaking way everything was going to fit! Oh, miracle of the earth and from greatness above everything did fit and on their way they where! LOL
a long update for three small things that basically where part of my life here.

My Desicion!

2008-12-08T20:37:00.004Z

My dear friends that have become family to me! I am not happy to inform this to you but is what i have decided. You have no Idea how this truly breaks my heart! and I am pretty sure you can tell what it is. You have been with me in everything and you don't know how I appreciate this. Is not easy and probably one of the most difficult things i have ever done. Salt Lake has become a home to me and as much as i would love to stay and enjoy my life with you, sometimes we don't get what we want! My heart is crying for disappointing you and wishes that there was something else I could do! Life is not easy and it pretty much sucks, don't get me wrong there is a lot of beauty in it and when you get to enjoy some of that beauty, there is nothing else that can fulfill you, is truly amazing. I know we had plans and I know we where actually planning on it, but that does not mean it cant happen, we can still go to Guatemala, I can still come to your wedding, I can still be your friend! By me leaving does not mean things wont happened. Friends I need your support with this, please don't make it harder on me! Is been hard enough to make the decision, sorry you may have to find out like this, but we will talk about it. I just want you to know that I truly love you and care about you! who knows maybe on the future ill be back!

Lont time no read!

2008-12-08T19:50:00.002Z

OK so its been quite a while since my last post and well when something like this happens I kind of forget what happens in the middle, but a few things that I should post!
1. My padres did came for Thanksgiving, it was super amazing to be with them, and the best surprise of all, my hermano came to SLC too! which made me scream and cry at the airport. They paid for all so i didn't have to worry about anything, my dad even paid to get my car fixed. Oh joy!
2. Yea, they did give me a speech, well prepared to tell you the truth to the point that I have made a decision. Which ill be posting next.
3. My back has been hurting like hell and I don't know why!
4. It was snowing today and I already want to go out! yay to snow!!!
5. Last Saturday was my Christmas party I am sorry Member Services but it sucked! honestly, What happened??? I mean I know games are lame and exchanging gifts is lame but that's the fun of Christmas parties lame stuff!!! people where there like they where at the OPS, like if they where still in their little cubicle areas, like mingling with your coworkers was not allowed! where was the fun of the usual Christmas party??? Seriously i was disappointed!
6. That same Saturday everything was rushed, that at the end off the day, nothing that we did was fully enjoyed! from food to movie form movie to dinner and we were super freaking late to that! honestly, if i would have busted my mirror trying to park in that stupid parking spot just to go to a freaking boring Christmas party i would have poop my pants!

The end!

The 7 Tag

2008-11-10T19:20:00.003Z

Alright, so I've been tagged by the Sambodian Fruit and I have to put 7 addictions! Lets see...
They will not be by priority order, more like, what comes to my mind first!

1. CHOCOLATE, you name it, anything covered in chocolate, ill eat it (well... probably not everything!!! if is some type of bug or some dirty crap! NO!) but yea, give me chocolate and I am happy!

2. ICE CREAM, Oh men I love me some Ice cream, Helado or Gelato how ever you want to call it! but I love it, any flavor, any color (the same rule applies like in chocolate).

3. MUSIC, it makes me happy, I love music! Electronic, Classical, Indie, Rock, Punk, Emo la la la la la oldies and Latin, anything Latin, Except reggeton or Hip hop or R&B or Jazz you know the ugly ones!

4. UNIQUENESS, what the heck? yea!!! anything that is weird and odd in good words unique.

5. CLOTHES, I love clothes any type of clothes.

6. GUATEMALAN FOOD, Oh I do! I love me food! FYI, not Mexican! on holidays this addiction get worst because I don't have it!

7. DESSERTS, indeed, my primary addiction, I believe dessert has a hole different stomach, I love to try and make different types of dessert, Once I get it on my head that I have to make it, I HAVE TO MAKE IT!

EXTRA...

8. MEN, sorry Samantha I know is only 7 but I had to include dos more!

9. I guess this one will be posted for the future, something that I am definitely going to be addicted to, but is not going to be till I get married.

so I am pretty sure you can see why I am morbidly obese, because my primary addictions include FOOD! In my addictions you don't see exercise or healthy foods although I love fruit and veggies. You don't see anything that would help improve my life, I guess that's why its call addiction.

Il mio papa e la mia mamma

2008-11-08T04:09:00.003Z

OK so this one is going to be short but true! prepare yourselves because on Nov. 26 my padres are coming to SLC!!!

Oh my, now that I think about it, its been a hole year since I have seen my dad. So my peeps here in Utah! You will finally get to meet my folks! so be nice to them because they can hardly speak you language, If you think I am bad wait till you meet them! you will definitely love them. Love love joy joy.

The Blackout

2008-11-07T19:53:00.011Z

Alright, so here's the dealio! after leaving at 5:29 from work I got to the game at like 6:20, basically it took me an hour to get to the U. I really don't like traffic! anyways... I didn't had a clue where I was going to park and I had no cash to pay for the $5.00 parking places nor I knew the secret places to park close to the stadium fo free! so I just had to follow my guts that where telling me follow the crowd, So I did I kind of got lost but after following a couple of cars like a stalker I follow the best one! I ended up parking super close to the stadium and fo free! It was like that parking spot was waiting for me!
So I hurry to the entrance of the stadium and Kaycee was there waiting for me! I got the ticket and head in, at this point they where 6-10, half an hour later 6-10, two hours later 6-10, what the heck? 6-10,6-10,6-10??? They pretty much sucked... But (drums... tu tu tu go!!!) 3 minutes before the game was over, a miracle happens, TOUCH DOWN baby!!!
I was already planning to take a picture of me and Kaycee showing sad faces but this plan changed when got a TOUCH DOWN!!! We where do excited about it we took that picture instead!
Now you may ask yourself why are these pictures taken from so far away? Well let me fill you in on that story, so I get there and the place where we were standing was not the same one, so I asked Kaycee, come to find out, all the drunk guys that sit next to us where there as well hitting them! ahhhhh! then we could not see anything because of the giants in front of us, so we decided to move... ALL the way on the TOP!!! That's why! So at the end of all this shindig everybody was jolly so rush down and from all the way up where I was the kind of look like ants over candy!

OPS Hall

2008-11-05T19:16:00.003Z

Can I tell you how weird it feels to walk on that hall??? OK so here’s how I see it, people walk there all of the time, but once you make eye contact is the most awful felling ever! Forces of nature drive you to make small conversation and/or smile to each other. If they are close to you then is alright is only a short way to feel that feeling, but if you make eye contact from far back prepare yourselves you are in for long and dreadful ride!
You make eye contact, you smile, you keep walking, you make eye contact again, at this point you are thinking what else can I do? should I look at it and smile one more time? should I make small conversation with it? or should I look the other way to avoid it?, I believe option number 3 might be the best one, but oh well, it might just be me and my odd thoughts but men humans are definitely weird!

Found a cool Web-site!

2008-11-03T00:51:00.002Z

Hospital Rush!

2008-10-23T17:08:00.004+01:00

What is this, you may ask! :(
Well today has been a pretty hard morning and yesterday I had a really worried night!
My brother, yes you read right! my brother had to be rushed to the hospital :( around 3 in the morning. I called my dad around 10 to talk about my car and he then told me: Ill called you later, your brother has been complaining about this pain he feels, he is almost crying. So I started to get worried, because he's not like that!
Then my dad calls again and tell me that everything is OK my brother had gone to the bathroom and it was just 'gas'.
At 3 in the morning I receive this phone call from my sister, which is odd because she never calls me at that hour, unless something has happened, sure enough, EMERGENCY!!! my mom was in the other line almost crying or pretending to be calm, then... She said: your brother had to be rushed to the hospital, your dad had to take him. :(
I said: What happened?
Mom: Well your brother kept complaining about the pain he felt, but every time I would ask him, on scale from 1 to 10 how painful is it? he responded 3. My mom didn't believe him and every so often she would ask the same question, my brother then answer 5, but every time it hurts i feel like I want to vomit! my mom got concerned because if he felt like that the pain was stronger than what he was telling her! so she decided to send him to the hospital.
She then told us (i.e. my sister and I) that my brother had called her crying concern about the money (FYI my parents are having financial problems) and that he was worried of how much everything was going to cost. He also told her that he was scared! :(
For those of you that don't know my brother, he has this humongous heart and I am pretty sure he didn't want to worry my parent with that, so they wouldn't have spend money, he was willing to suffer :(
What he has you may ask yourself? Appendicitis, that means that if he wouldn't have done something, he could have died, if thing wouldn't have been done as they should! :(
At this exact moment he is in surgery and my mom is waiting for him, I haven't heard anything!
Pray for him!

Sin City...

2008-10-20T23:53:00.004+01:00

Is full of SIN! oh my! where to start my weekend? we left the sinless city on Friday night, head down to St. George to hang out with summer (Shelley's niece) it was a long ride, but nice! :) on the next day i.e. Saturday! we went down to LAS VEGAS baby! and although it was rather interesting, because it looked like a huge theme park (Rated R - Restricted to 18 years and older. Contents not suitable for minors. Contains frequent sexual activity, brutality/graphic violence, intense horror, and/or other disturbing content), it was rather gross! I mean alcohol and cigars everywhere!
My people i.e. Mexicans (as all of you non-Latin people know my people) where handing out cards of female naked bodies that kind of made me puke a little on my mouth! I said this because If I puke Sam would freak! :)
BUT... We got to Gamble some dinero and order a virgin Pina Colada, so in the future, we can say 'been there, done that, didn't like it!
Well i did like the virgin drink, um yummy :) the gamble part is interesting to me, because you put money and you make money, the correct thing to do in this case is just to cash your money, instead, you keep playing it, with the hopes of getting more, but oh! greatness of earth you end up loosing every single penny! In my case, this happened and I stopped, of course one of the reasons was I didn't have money left. But it amazes me that people that have experienced the same thing, end up gambling again! What the deuce?
Anywho, we walked around and took some pictures which ill post later on!
then drove around a little bit more and took of back to St. George, Ate some Spoon me! (who in the hell though about that name? a girl i suppose!)
Sunday we went to church and then we visit Sammy's aunt house, which by the way, was super nice, the house, the view and the familia.
Then drove back to reality later on the day and i have to say: ARIGATOH SHELLINA CLUFFINGER! (she drove every hour of the hour of the weekend) :)

I also have to thank Wikipedia for providing me with the rated R definition! :)
Peace brothas!

Idaho Sista!

2008-10-20T19:41:00.002+01:00

Good day to all! so about a week or so ago i picked up my sister Oct.11 to be exact, We Head to Bucca di Beppo (by far the best restaurant I have ever been to) good times indeed!
then we headed to Lava hot Springs Idaho! to tell you the truth, there is nothing to do, but the company was amazing so i really didn't mind. My brother in-law went out hunting since Sunday morning and it was until Tuesday that he was able to kill a Bambi! :( sad news!!! we went to the hot spring and boy where they hot! 110 degrees I felt like a boiling pig! Lol. On Monday we came down to Salt Lake and went a few places which they loved. By they I mean my sister, her mother in law and the grand mother in law! who by the way is the coolest lady ever (grandmother) she was so funny and nice to be around!
Tuesday, which was my last day there, we only did some errands here and there and just watch my brother in -law skin Bambi :( oh my gosh! it stunk so freaking bad, you wont believe it!
Oh we also did Karaoke on Monday night it was fun, Jeremy's (brother-in-law) parents own a bar up there! so... that pretty much was my weekend up in Idaho! ill try to post some pictures!